#ive had the WORST flu going on TWO WEEKS now and ive only just now started getting better. scientific proof blorbo doodling heals

[zillychu]

forgor to post the. first doodles i did of them LMAO

[therealdisneyfan2319]

The Spider and The Witch Chapter 1: The Experiment and The Flu

Summary: Peter Parker and Y/N L/N are junior biochem majors at Empire State College.  Peter needs a volunteer for his research project, and a series of events leads Y/N to come down with the flu...or does he?

Pairing: Wanda Maximoff x Male Reader

Warnings: Language, blood, needles, description of medical procedures

Word Count: 3.6K

Series Masterlist | Masterlist

“I don��t know how I managed to let you talk me into going to the lab with you this early.”  You stretched your arms out as you yawned, keeping your arm just so to keep your coffee upright.

“Dude.  It’s 10 am,” Peter chuckled.

“These good looks don’t just happen, man.  I need a full nine hours.”

“Maybe if you went to bed before 3 am-” “Now wait a minute.  You’re lecturing me about going to bed early when you used to pull all-nighters slinging webs around Queens?”

“Shut up!” He swatted your arm before you had the chance to pull away.  “At least I was doing something productive with my life, not playing Pokemon-” “Completing the Pokedex is extremely productive.  Now it might not be the same kind of productive as extracting the Spidey mutation from your genome sequence, but categorizing all the Pokemon from the Galar region is an important, time-consuming task.”

Peter rolled his eyes as he rolled down the sidewalk next to you.  You chuckled, taking a sip of your coffee as you shook your head.  This sort of banter was typical of your friendship.  Peter was one of your closest friends and easy to joke with, but you also worked well together.  It didn’t hurt that you were both biochem majors and had the same sort of scientific mind.  Since you met in world civ last fall the two of you had been as thick as thieves.  It didn’t matter that he was three years older than you, a grade above you, or that he used to be Spider-Man.  Finding out that the guy in the Stark tech wheelchair who loved Led Zeppelin and Star Wars was once the friendly neighborhood superhero was not what you expected when you went over to his dorm to hang out for the first time.  Peter was used to people freaking out when they found out and was thrilled when you shrugged it off.  

“So what exactly are we doing today?” you asked.  You had volunteered to help him out with a research project he was working on.  He hadn’t told you much about it, only that it was being funded by Tony Stark and dealt with genome sequencing. 

“Nothing too crazy.  I need to take samples of your blood.  I’ll use those as test subjects against my blood.  That’ll be the control sample.”  He punched in a sequence on the keypad on the arm of his chair.  Tank tracks dropped down from the bottom of the seat as the chair began to climb the stairs to the science building.  

“You know how to take blood?” you asked, holding the door open for him as he wheeled into the building.

“Yeah, well…yeah.  I mean Sam taught me how to start an IV and drawing blood is the same principle, right?  You gotta find the vein.”

“Oh my god I’m gonna die,” you mumbled as you turned down the hall toward the lab Peter worked out of.  It was one of the newest labs on campus.  Tony Stark had donated a sizable amount of money toward the Empire State College science and research division with the provision that all the money go toward funding better facilities for students.  The new building had just opened at the beginning of the semester.  Peter was more than excited to have a space stocked with the latest Stark technology to work on his newest endeavor.  It was more convenient than trying to head upstate to the Avengers Compound a few times a week.

“I won’t let you bleed out on me, man.  Worst comes to worst we’ll just throw some webs on it and send you to New York Pres.”

“Is that supposed to make me feel better about all of this?  Because it’s totally not.”  You hated needles.  You hated doctors.  The thought of someone who was decidedly NOT a medical professional fishing around your elbow for a vein made your stomach flip flop.  Maybe a large coffee wasn’t the best idea for breakfast…

The bright fluorescent lights in the lab snapped on as you opened the door.  They seemed unnecessary as sunlight flooded the windows that took up the entirety of the easternmost wall.  The overhead haze added to the sterile feel of the room: the latest in Stark Technology, ranging from microscopes and test tubes to autoclaves and fabricators, shone brightly against the lights.  It was nerd heaven, stuffed to the brim with everything anyone could ever need for any experiment they could dream of.  You threw your backpack on a lab table adjacent to where Peter was setting up his laptop.  Once you were done helping him out, you figured you’d swing by the library to start cracking on the paper for your art history course.

“So I already took my own samples earlier this week,” he explained. “I’m storing them in the fridge over there.  Mind grabbing them for me?” He motioned with his head to the mini fridge that sat next to the sink.  You walked over to the fridge, seeing a rack of blood vials sitting on the bottom shelf amongst the Petri dishes of spores and sole can of Coke.  “Don’t drop it,” he cautioned as grabbed a ziploc baggie of medical supplies out of his bag.

“Whoop.”  You fake tripped, stumbling around and swinging the tray to and fro aimlessly.  He shot you a somewhat serious glare.  You returned a toothy grin.  

“Dude if you drop that-”

“Relax, Pete.  I’ve got steady hands.”  You placed the tray on the table in front of him with the grace of a swan.  “See?” You raised your hands up defensively.  “Steady hands.  I should be a goddamn surgeon.”

“Ah yes, Dr. Y/N L/N, the surgeon who hates blood.”  He dumped the contents onto the table.  Out fell some rubber gloves, a rubber tourniquet, needles, tubes, alcohol wipes, and cotton balls.  You gulped at the sight of the paraphernalia.  “So why don’t you just sit there and roll up your sleeve so we can do this.”

“Are you sure you can’t just, like, prick my finger?”  Plopping onto the stool you rolled up the sleeve of flannel.  

“Do you want to sit here and fill up these tubes one drop at a time?” Peter asked from the sink.  The tray of tubes, empty ones and ones full of his blood, sat next to him as he washed his hands.

“Good point,” you muttered.  It felt like you were chewing on the flannel from your shirt.

“Just relax, I did it on myself the other day and I turned out just fine.”  There was a slight waver in your friend’s voice as he spoke.  Try as he might to hide it, Peter was nervous, too.  He snapped on the baby blue gloves.  You turned your head away, refusing to look until he was done.  “Can you just make a fist for-good okay, yup, I see the vein.”  The sudden coolness of the alcohol against your skin made you shiver, but you refused to look.  Even as you felt the slight prick of the needle against your skin you kept your eyes firmly shut.  “Told you I wouldn’t let you bleed out,” he chuckled, replacing the now full vial with an empty one.

“How many vials do you need?”  You strained your neck as you tried to look as far away as you could from the scene unfolding in front of you.

“I don’t know, I did six of my own.  That should be enough,” Peter shrugged.  

Six vials of blood?  Why did you even decide to do this in the first place?  You could’ve been back in your dorm in the comfort of your bed, sleeping the morning away, instead of having your blood forcibly removed from your body.  Peter definitely owed you big time.  

He removed the tube from your arm, handing you a cotton ball to stop the bleeding.  “That should be it.  Mind putting those back in the fridge for me?”  

The second your feet hit the floor your knees wobbled.  It was probably psychosomatic, but the sight of all your blood sitting inches outside where it should be made you the slightest bit queasy.  “Yeah, no problem.”  You shook your head quickly.  There was no way you were going to let yourself puke or, even worse, drop the vials and have to do it all over again.  

It took all your effort not to look down at the plastic tray in your hands.  You concentrated all your effort on staring down the refrigerator.  That ultimately meant neglecting your untied shoelace.  Before you realized what was happening you found yourself tripping over your feet.  While you managed to not lose your balance completely, the sudden jolt sent two of the vials crashing to the floor.

“Shit,” you mumbled as you set the tray on the floor.  There were shards of glass and blood splattered across the marble tile.  You quickly glanced over your shoulder, hoping Peter hadn’t seen your mistake.  Much to your relief he was engrossed in his notebook.  That bought you some time to quickly clean up the mess.  You looked around for a roll of paper towels, spotting the roll next to the sink and tearing off a few sheets.  The crimson puddles looked like they’d be easy enough to clean up.  Not thinking too much about it, you knelt down and started blotting at the spill.  A sudden stab caused you to recoil from the ground in pain.  As you examined your hand, you noticed a small scratch on the pad of your thumb.  

“You good?” Peter’s voice broke you away from staring at your hand.

“Yeah.  Dropped one of the vials and cut myself.  I’m good.”

“Was it one of mine or yours?”

“Uhh, mine.”  Truth be told you had no idea if it was yours or his.  There was no way to know which vial was which.  Peter knew.  He probably had it marked down in his laptop or something.  But you remembered that his vials were facing you when you pulled them out of the fridge.  That meant yours were away from you and there was an empty spot there.  Yeah, it’s mine.  “You need me for anything else?”

“Nah, you’re good,” Peter focused intensely on his laptop, typing away as you finished cleaning up your mess and putting the samples away.  “Are we still on for dinner tonight?  Ned’s dying to try out that new Thai place on Watts Street.”

“Yeah, shoot me a text.  I’m headed to the library for a bit.”  You slung your backpack over your shoulder as you headed for the door.  “See you.”

“Thanks again, Y/N.”

******

You spent the rest of the day in the library researching and typing and revising your paper.  The minutes ticked by as you lost yourself in the endless barrage of Western paintings you thought looked all too similar.  Yet as the day passed you found yourself feeling strange.  At first you thought you had been studying too long.  The words on your laptop screen seemed fuzzy and you found yourself re-reading the same paragraph on Donatello about a dozen times before anything seemed to click.  Then the library seemed to drop ten degrees before abruptly shooting up another twenty.  Sweat on the back of your neck ran down your shirt and chilled you as fast as it cooled you off.  The lights were suddenly too bright and even the silence was too loud.  

Shit, you thought to yourself as your felt heat radiating off your forehead.  It was probably the flu.  It had been making the rounds through campus for the better part of a month, so you weren’t completely surprised.  Closing your laptop and shoving your books in your bag, you texted Peter as you left the library:

Got the flu.  You and Ned go without me.  I’m gonna go to bed.

The walk back to your apartment wasn’t long, but it was a near-impossible task in your ever-worsening condition.  Every step felt like you were trudging through molasses.  Your legs were as heavy as cement and you prayed you wouldn’t trip because you weren’t sure you’d be able to get up again.  Tears clouded your vision.  Rubbing your eyes didn’t help.  The only thing on your mind was downing half a bottle of Nyquil and passing out as soon as you got back to your room.  

Much to your relief you walked into an empty apartment.  Peter and Ned must’ve already left for dinner.  You kicked your shoes off and dropped your bag at the front door.  There was no doubt in your mind that this was the flu: you felt like absolute garbage as you shuffled to your bedroom.  As you flopped on the bed, clothes and all, your body felt like it was made of lead.  Bone-crushing fatigue consumed you as you shivered on top of your bedspread.  You prayed that you’d be able to get a little bit of sleep to help dull the pain.

When you woke the following morning, you were surprised to find that you didn’t feel sick at all.  In fact, you felt better than you had in a long time.  There wasn’t any evidence that you felt so poorly only a few hours ago.  You swung your legs around to the side of the bed and stared at the floor as you thought about what you were going to do all day, but when you tried to stand up something was off.  As you stretched your arms above your head, you felt something engulf you: it was your blanket.  It was stuck to your hands.  

Did I spill Nyquil on my hands? you wondered as you tugged at the fuzzy fabric.  No, I didn’t take any Nyquil last night.

It took a considerable amount of effort to tear just one of your hands away only for it to stick on the wall as you balanced against it for support.  Paint flaked away as you ripped your hand away.  At that point you weren’t sure if you were still asleep or not.  Squeezing your eyes shut, you reopened them to find flakes of drywall still attached to your fingers.  What the hell?  You shook your hands, trying to free yourself of the debris, but as you flicked your wrist downward, you heard a loud thwack.  The sticky white residue covered Marty McFly’s face on the Back to the Future poster that hung next to your bed.  That same white residue balled up on the inside of your wrist.  When you tried to pull it off, a long spindly web came with it.

Oh fuck.

The implications of what just happened were huge to say the least.  The vial you broke yesterday wasn’t yours: it was Peter’s.  His blood contaminated yours when you cut yourself and now you had…spidey powers?  It couldn’t be.  This all had to be some sort of nightmare.  You were just a normal guy trying to make it through college relatively unscathed.  Sure, your roommate was an Avenger and that was a little weird, but other than that your experience was pretty normal.  You had no interest in having superpowers or saving the world whatsoever.  

“Everything okay in there, man?” Peter asked as he rapped on your door.  It momentarily snapped you out of your panic.

“Uhh yeah, yeah.  I’m good,” you hollered through the door, still looking at the web in your hand.  

“You sure?”

“Yeah.  I’m okay.  Just, uhh, knocked my blankets off the bed.”  You wiped the web up with a tissue, praying that it wouldn’t stick to your hand, too.  It didn’t, much to your relief.  

“How are you feeling?” he called as you started taking off your clothes from the day before.  A long shower would help you figure out what your next move was.  

“Good.  Great actually.  I feel fine,” you responded, throwing your dirty t-shirt on the ground.  “How was dinner?” “It totally sucked, man.  You didn’t miss much,” Ned’s voice was faint as he yelled from the kitchen.  

“Bummer.  I told you that you should’ve done Indian instead.”

“Well hey if you’re feeling better why don’t we go for lunch?” Your stomach grumbled at the thought, but images of getting stuck to the subway pole loomed in your mind.  “Yeah, sure,” you responded absentmindedly while kicking your pants off and grabbing a clean pair of sweats off your bed.  

Wearing nothing but your boxers, you opened the door fully intending to go straight to the bathroom.  The second Peter and Ned saw you their jaws dropped.

“Dude!” Peter exclaimed. 

“Wha-?”  

“Woah!  Y/N, when did you get ripped?” Ned asked.  You were thoroughly confused.  None of your hobbies included going to the gym or working out.  What were they talking about?  The lights came on in the bathroom and as your eyes adjusted to the brightness you were shocked.  It was like someone took a  chisel to your body overnight.  There were muscles in places you didn't know there could be muscles.  The reflection in the mirror showed you defined pecs, swollen biceps, and the faintest outline of a six pack.

“What the hell?” you mumbled in disbelief.  Your fingers traced over your chest, taking in the new body you’d inadvertently fallen into.  It was a surreal experience seeing an unfamiliar body in the mirror.  It was almost like you were watching someone else live your life while you watched from outside yourself.

“Are you sure you’re alright, Y/N?” Peter asked as he wheeled himself in front of the bathroom door.

“Yeah.  I’ve just got spidey powers now.”  It didn’t even feel like you were the one saying those words.  Haze clouded your periphery, forcing you to focus on the newness of your body.  It was an out-of-body experience in every way.  There was no way to really process the profundity of the situation.  

“You WHAT?”

Time stopped.  Everything stopped.  Peter’s face contorted with dozens of emotions in the blink of an eye.  Glass shattered on the kitchen floor as Ned’s glass slipped out of his hand.  

“Umm, yeah I guess.  I’m starting to think that was your blood that I cleaned up yesterday.”  You half expected Peter to be furious at the truth, but the beaming grin on his face told you otherwise.

“It worked!  Holy shit it WORKED!”  He spun his chair around excitedly, whooping all the while.  “Mr. Stark, oh man, he’s gonna be so excited!  He’ll want to meet you.  Man, now he doesn’t even need to look for someone to be the next Spider-Man because…oh this is great, I can teach you everything!  That way you’ll be WAY ahead of where he thinks you should be and he’ll let you onto the team fas-”

“The next Spider-Man?”

“I mean yeah, Mr. Stark will definitely want to talk to you about it,” Peter replied.

“Dude, I’d kill to be Spider-Man!” Ned added, sweeping up what remained of his glass.

“No way, absolutely not,” you groused as you stormed out of the bathroom.  “No offense, Pete, but I don’t want to be an Avenger.”

“You don’t have to make a decision now.  I don’t even know if he’ll ask.  I mean he probably will but that doesn’t mean anything.  He might just want you to come in to do, like, more testing or something.”  Peter gingerly walked back his excitement.  The prospect of training the next Spider-Man brought a sense of optimism back into his life that had long been forgotten.  Losing his identity as the local neighborhood web slinger stripped away a core part of his identity: Peter Parker and Spider-Man were one in the same.  Sure, he still used his powers and webs when he could, but it wasn’t the same.  Tony had offered to make him an exosuit after the accident, but he knew that he couldn’t do it anymore.  One close brush with death was more than enough for him.

“Look,” you sighed, “I’m not you.  I don’t want to go out and swing through Manhattan and stop burglars or fight weird lizard things.  I just want to be a normal guy doing normal guy things with my normal guy friends if I can even call the two of you normal.”  Peter chuckled half-heartedly.

“Wait, can you stick to the ceiling?” Ned suddenly asked.  You sighed again, shaking your head as you extended your arm up and jumped: you stuck.  “Woah!  That’s sweet!”

“Yeah, it is kinda cool I guess,” you chuckled as you watched your fingertips completely suspend your dead weight from the ceiling.  Getting used to your new body was a curious sensation.  Everything felt sharper.  Colors were brighter and bolder.  You saw incredibly small movements even from the corners of your eye.  Your body felt stronger and faster and more agile.  It was strange, spending your entire life as a regular human being and then waking up one day twenty years later with these weird spidery feelings tingling inside you.  

“Do you want one of my web shooters?” Peter asked as you dropped down.

“Web shooters?”

“Yeah,” Peter replied questioningly as he raised an eyebrow.  “You don’t think I can actually make webs, do you?”

You responded by mimicking the hand gesture Peter frequently showed you, flicking your wrist downward as a raveled strand of webs flew out of your wrist.  Peter ducked his head out of the way in the knick of time while Ned’s jaw dropped in amazement.  

“Didn’t see that coming, did you?”

[deatheatet]

Okay so hear me out. This randomly popped into my head and won't leave so I just HAVE to write it before I DO forget it

Mo'at was bothered. Very bothered. None of the clan knew why,Kiri didn't know and that was unusual. Kiri has a knack for knowing things that she shouldn't, wasn't told or just before it happened. Yet not even this little blessing from Eywa knew why her grandmother seemed so upset and on edge recently. Many assumed she was simply mourning Eytukan,her mate and precious Ole'ektan. the anniversary of his death was very soon,it as always hurt her severely to remember the pain of that day. She lost her home but worse her mate...felt his pain....felt his breathing slow....felt his heart stop. She had broken down halfway away from Hometree's remains with a broken and broken hearted scream that day. Mo'at knew what they were assuming her strangeness was,yet as much as it was painful time,that was not it. The problem is that Spider,the young human child left behind,had yet to come visit the clan or Kiri in almost a week now. It was a concerning thing for her as the boy was rarely away from the clan or Kiri,the others came but the boy was not ever with them. The first two days wasn't bad, perhaps he had no mask to use,but as the days turned to a week she was concerned about the young human child. She knew she likely should not have felt as protective of the boy as if he were one of her grandchildren but she could not help it. So one day she eventually decided "To Hell With It"(She learned this from Jake) and went to Hells Gate herself to check on Spider.

When she got there she ducked down pulling a mask over her mouth and started looking for Norm,or Max, whichever was there and knew where the boy was.

"Oh. Spider's not been allowed to leave cause he got sick a bit ago"Mary,a woman Mo'at thought did not deserve the human boy as her son...the woman was...a worthless mother to him, Mo'at considered this the highest possible insult which from her it truly was and she had a good reason for this thought train. Mo'at frowned and sighed "What is he sick with?" Mary shrugged and responded "We don't know actually. Probably a Na'vi disease of some sort. not the flu but something else"Mo'at blinked slowly before it officially registered. Mary jumped back shocked and a little scared when Mo'at hissed at her.

"And you did not think to ask me!" Mo'at was a normally calm and reasonable Na'vi but this put out a mother's rage, because the idiots didn't think to as TSAHIK what type of Na'vi sickness the small human might have.

"We didn't want to bother you about him but he's in the room 231 down the hall in the med bay. It's beside the area where avatars first wake up."Mary took multiple fearful steps back and Mo'at hissed at her once more before find the room spider was in. the room was small but thankfully tall enough Mo'at could crouch like she would at the clan dinner and keep her head straight up. The worst rage,only the kind that could belong to a mother,hit her with the full force ond power of Eywa. The tiny human boy who was 6-7 at least was laying on the bed with bruises from needles all over his arms,and IV in one arm where there was already a black bruise in the crease of his elbow,he was pale and very very sick (The boy had tear streaks and red eyes,he looked at her and a sad weak smile came on his face.

"Hi Tsahik" he said in a broken,dry,and pain filled version of his usual happy go lucky voice.

"Hi little one. "She responded moving beside the bed and sat with her legs bent out to the side. She smiled gently and soothing.

"Why did you come to see me?" The poor little one asked her

"I was concerned as to why my granddaughter's favorite little human had not come to see us in a while"

"Sorry I worried you, Tsahik. when you leave in a minute tell Kiri I'm sorry to"Spider said

Mo'at watched him for a moment and took his small hand in her much larger one.

"I am not leaving little one,not until you are better and healed"

Spider watched her with a look of pure happiness in his eyes and started crying as best he could

Mo'at leaned up and hugged him softly letting him bury his small face in her neck while she cradled him gently,she felt his weak little hand clinging to her shawl.

After a while like that spider fell asleep and Mo'at sat there holding his hand. She knew most of the clan was wondering where their Tsahik was and that it wouldn't be long until her daughter or Son in law came to look for her. She didn't care though. This poor child was being put through absolute hell and pain because he was sick and his own species was stupid. Mary came in with another needle and got close to spider before Mo'at snarled at her and smacked the needle out of her hand and knocked Mary half way across the room in the process

"OUT. Or I will hurt you" Mo'at snarled through her bared fangs

Mary immediately left and told the others, they all tried but received the same thing except Nash tried and said something, whatever it was, Mo'at actually threw him across the room so hard he got a concussion. Norm decided no more needles now that he and Max knew about this. Norm poked his head in and saw Mo'at Leaning on the edge of the bed near Spider's head while he weakly watched a movie,The Looney Tunes,and gently stroking his soft blonde curls.

"Hey big guy,How's everything going?"Norm asked Gently but kept on the other side of the room. Mo'at looked up ready to snarl but stopped realizing it was Norm.

After Spider talked to Norm for a while and fell asleep,Norm started talking to Mo'at. Norm said he'd bring her healing equipment to her so she could take care of Spider and watch over him if she had to leave. It went like that for a few days,but Spider was a million times better with Mo'at taking care of him than the scientists,he was moving more, laughing,his voice was back to normal. Anyway Jake decided to go look for her since the clan hadn't seen her in a few days,when he was told he went to the room and found a surprising scene.

Mo'at was sitting with her legs to the side and bent slightly laying her head on her right arm which was bent, asleep,and her left hand laying face up with Spider's smaller one holding her three fingers. He was asleep and so was she but Jake heard about Mo'at's threats and aggression to sthe scientists that weren't Norm and Max so he left them be, wondering what that was about.

[spoopydooblr]

The Ken and Stella pregnancy blurb was so good could you write one where they find out that she’s pregnant?

ive been thinking about this scenario a lot and i cant really decide how i want this to go . . .

i think a year or so after they get married (stella is like 30ish) they start to really do their research and find the best fertility clinic in the city. its been almost 20 years since kendall and rava struggled to get pregnant, but still, he's not feeling optimistic.

stella gets a clean bill of health from the doctor, but ken isn't so lucky. just as he suspected, he was the problem. again.

was it the drugs? he was clean now, but he used so much...could he have ruined his chances forever?

stella assures him that it'll be okay, but she never went through what he had to 20 years ago.

they decide on a couple of treatments. they're both taking shots every day and pills at night and its exhausting. most of the meds go to kendall, but stella has to take some too, just in case.

they begin with intrauterine insemination, which is pretty simple and painless, but stella gets her period two weeks later. its hard on both of them, but especially kendall because he knows it's him, not her.

next they try ivf, which is a lot more complicated and expensive (not that money is an issue). now they both have to do injections and stella goes in for her egg retrieval.

the egg retrieval goes better than expected and they're left with 10. ken's sample has some relatively viable sperm so they pull the trigger and try to make some embryos.

the waiting is by-far the worst part, because deep down kendall knows there's no way those embryos are going to get made with his shitty sperm. he's right, unfortunately, and they're back to square one with zero embryos and ten now-frozen eggs.

kendall suggests a donor, like they did with iverson. stella's heartbroken, but they start to look into other options.

because they have the best doctors, however, they get into a trial for a new drug that increases sperm count and viability. stella is thrilled and insists kendall try it, but it's another injection and he's not super happy about it. nothing has ever worked for him, why now?

it's nice to have a break from more intense treatments, so they agree and kendall marks his torso up with injection pricks again.

three months later, ken and stella are enjoying some time off from surgery and tiny, microscopic cells that control their lives. kendall's in new york for the week, working on some financials for their production company (i imagine them making something rival to waystar and completely taking over the media scene), and stella is holding it down in los angeles, or at least trying to.

it's flu season and she's been to so many fancy parties in the last few weeks, stella is sick as a dog. she's a little worried, but the nausea, vomiting and headaches are typical for the flu, right?

she also chalks her late period up to stress. but it's been at least a few weeks...

the day before kendall is supposed to come home, stella drives herself to the hospital after she can't stop throwing up.

"when did the symptoms start?" the doctor asks.

"a week ago, i think, but ive been feeling kind of off for a while."

"and there's no chance you're pregnant? when was your last period?"

stella's heart skips a beat.

"um, i'm not sure. we're trying, uh, but it's been unsuccessful. my period is really irregular and i've been stressed so--" she trails off. "we've been trying for a couple of years."

"and are you taking medication?"

"i did, but it's not really..." she thinks for a bit. "it's not a uterus issue, it's my husband."

"and what is he taking?"

she tells the doctor about the new medication kendall is taking. "it's only been three months, so we're still hopeful. or at least i am."

"i've heard some great things about that new drug. it's really changing people's lives." the doctor smiles, turning away from stella and writing something down. "i'm going to order some tests, but i think you're fine."

------------------

kendall, obviously, sprints to his jet when stella tells him she's sick. she insists she's fine, but wants him to come home as soon as he can, which stresses him out to no avail.

he bursts through the door four hours later, finding stella reading a magazine on the couch.

"stell!" he says, running towards her.

"hey baby." she hugs him, bringing him down to the couch with her. stella presses her lips to his, but kendall is confused.

"aren't you sick?" he pulls away.

her face breaks into a huge smile. "about that..." stella gets up from the couch and walks to the kitchen.

kendall looks at her quizzically, as she comes back with a piece of paper in her hands.

"i have something to show you." she says, holding the paper close to her.

"okay..." kendall smiles at her, utterly confused.

stella carefully sits next to him on the couch. "here."

kendall recognizes the picture immediately. he used to frame them when rava was pregnant with iverson.

"what is this?" he holds up the ultrasound. it's too good to be true, right? tears prick his eyes.

stella is crying already, and takes his hand. "that's inside of me."

he looks down at the black and white photo again. a fuzzy, bean-looking object sits, next to another, smaller object. he's speechless for the first time in his life.

"what is that?" he whispers, pointing to the smaller object on the page.

stella looks at him, and he really can't read her for once.

"this surprise comes with another surprise." she laughs.

kendall's crying, but he takes another look. "is that..."

"yeah."

"two?" he smiles wide.

"i'm pregnant." she finally says, putting her hands on his cheeks. "baby, we're having twins."

they both burst out into crying giggles, hugging. kendall kisses her all over, stopping at her stomach. it's still pretty flat, but he knows her body so well he swears he can see a tiny bump growing.

THIS WAS SO FUN AND LOVELY TO WRITE I LOVE THEM AND I HOPE U DO TOO

[ak47stylegirl]

Doctors Appointment: Chapter 3

Okay guys, here’s the third chapter! I hope you guys enjoy this!!! 😁💙

First two chapters. 

@janetm74 @dragonoffantasyandreality @katblu42 @cg29 @alexthefly @inertplanetary ----

Scott stood with his arms crossed, watching with a worried frown as Alan’s doctor, Dr David, examined his baby brother. At this moment, Dr David was examining Alan’s joints, mainly his arms and legs. 

Alan’s eyes glanced over at Scott.

“Okay, tell me if any of this hurts, okay?” Dr David began to put pressure on Alan’s unbraced leg joints, feeling around with his fingers. 

Alan’s face was scrunched up in discomfort, slightly flinching each time pressure was applied to his limbs.

But then Dr David put pressure on Alan’s ankle joint-

“Ow! Ow!” Alan wailed from where he laid on the bed, tears gathering in his eyes. “Ow! That hurts! Stop!”

Dr David instantly took the pressure off, frowning as he gently examined them further. At the same time, Scott had rushed over to Alan’s side. 

“Shhh, it’s alright….” Scott whispered, brushing his fingers through Alan’s soft blond hair. “It’s alright….” 

Alan whimpered, pouting up at Scott in disagreement. 

Scott’s eyes saddened immensely at the sight, tilting his head slightly in sympathy. Oh, my poor little one…

You never should’ve had to deal with this...

Dr David sighed heavily, catching Scott’s attention in a snap. Scott’s stomach flipped at the deep frown on the doctor’s face as he typed his notes into his tablet. 

Alan’s joints have gotten worse, haven’t they?! 

Oh no, please no! 

Alan struggled enough.

Please...no...

“Well, unfortunately, I can’t see much improvement from last time…” Dr David explained sadly, placing his tablet back down, “There is some stiffness in Alan’s left knee, but overall not much has changed….” 

Scott let loose a sigh of relief, his shoulders dropping. While no improvement wasn’t good, it was better than the other option. 

Oh, so, so much better...

Alan blew out a frustrated breath, “Can...Can I sit up now?” Alan mumbled, looking up at the two adults. 

“Yes, of course….” Dr David nodded. 

Alan slowly sat up with Scott’s help, leaning his head heavily against Scott’s side with a weak groan. 

Scott’s eyes creased in sorrow, lips pressed tightly together as he stroked the back of Alan’s head. 

This was only the first part of the appointment, and Alan’s tolerance was already getting paper-thin. 

It didn't bode well…

Especially seeing as Alan’s appointment was actually multiple appointments.

First, there was the appointment with Dr David, Alan’s main specialist. The team leader of Alan’s health professionals. They had the main ‘check-up’ with Dr David, who checked all the basic things they needed to watch.

After that, Alan was handed over to the pathology lab for tests and scans. That usually took quite a while. 

Alan wasn’t overly fond of some of the tests, to say the least…

But once that was done, Scott and Alan would retire to a private hospital suite for a little break as Alan needed to rest.

Because if Alan didn’t get said nap, there would 100% be a massive meltdown. Like laying on the floor crying his eyes out, refusing to cooperate…

Lots and lots of screaming… 

So yes, Scott very much insisted on that break. 

(Though sometimes, even that didn’t stop the meltdowns from happening…)

The second main appointment of the day was with Dr Suzzy, Alan’s fitness/rehabilitation specialist.

It took place down in the hospital’s rehab gym, where Dr Suzzy would walk through a couple of simple exercises with Alan. Alan actually had a training schedule for home as well, created by both Virgil and Dr Suzzy. 

As their medic, Virgil pulled rank to be the one to help Alan with those exercises. 

Scott tried to help sometimes, but unfortunately, running a business and rescue organisation kept him tied down most of the time...

The guilt plagued him…

Gordon also helped out with those exercises at times, especially if the pool was involved. 

If there were two things that Gordon took deadly seriously, it was pool safety and looking after his only little brother. So you could be damn sure Gordon was going to be there. 

Don’t think you can stop him. He’s a sneaky one, and he bites.

Scott had a faint scar on his arm from a four-year-old Gordon to prove it. (It had happened shortly after mum died, Gordon had been having a bad day… he hadn’t meant it...)

Don’t mess with the Gordo; at times, he’s a cuddly squid and others…

Shark. 

Pure shark.

Anyway, after that appointment, it was onto the final and honestly worst part of the day.

Alan’s treatment. 

It would occur in the same hospital suite as before, with Alan hooked up to an IV containing his medication. It was a slow process, taking an hour or two. Alan typically spent that time cradled up in Scott’s lap, hugging his Thunderbird Three plushie. 

Virgil had gotten it for Alan when he was first diagnosed. 

Scott knew Virgil was tempted to get Alan the Thunderbird Two plushie instead but went with Three as that was Alan’s favourite ship.

Also, that before mentioned Thunderbird Two plushie?

It was sitting pride of place on Virgil’s bed. 

Because-

‘I couldn’t just leave it?! She was looking so sad sitting there!’

While Virgil needing to have the plush version of his bird was understandable, buying the whole store’s supply of plushies was a bit much.

Like seriously, Virg…

Most of those toys got donated to families that couldn’t afford toys or sick children in hospital. 

It ended up being a very good experience for everyone involved…

Virgil had personally gone to the hospitals himself, handing said plushies to the unwell kids himself. 

There were tears…

And the lucky survivors that remained either got a job as an International Rescue’s cuddle operative; tasked with comforting young rescuees.

Or adults, it has definitely happened before... 

And the last few were adopted by Gordon, whose bed was a sea of plushies. 

Scott would never know how Gordon could sleep in that bed…

But it was a pretty adorable sight, he will admit. 

Dr David put his stethoscope in his ears, “Okay, let’s have a little listen to that chest of yours, shall we?” 

The stethoscope was slipped up the back of Alan’s shirt-

“Cold!” Alan squealed, flinching away as the cold metal of the stethoscope touched his skin. “That’s freezing!” 

“Sorry, Alan…” Dr David smiled apologetically. “I’ll warm it up a bit next time, okay?” The stethoscope was placed against Alan’s skin once again.

“Now, deep breath in for me..” 

Alan’s eyes narrowed, a grumpy pout on his face as he took a deep breath. 

Scott sighed wearily, spotting a possible meltdown brewing on the horizon. He didn’t know when it would hit, but Scott knew that it would happen some way or another.

Alan was displaying all the signs…

Dr David moved the stethoscope around a couple of times, each time asking Alan to take a deep breath. By the time the doctor was finished, Alan was slightly out of breath. 

“Well, his heart sounds good, which is always a good thing….” Dr David slipped his stethoscope back around his neck. “But his lungs sound a little wheezy….” 

Scott frowned in concern. 

“Has he been sick in the last week or so?” Dr David asked Scott, once again typing down notes on his tablet. “Cold? Flu?” 

Alan shuttered with a grimace. 

Being completely knocked down with the flu or cold was horrible for anyone. Let alone for someone like Alan, who had a weak immune system…

Scott’s eyes slipped close briefly as he nodded, 

“Yeah…” Scott replied, remembering that week well. “He was unwell with a bad cold about a week and a half ago….” 

It hasn’t been fun... 

“I figured as much,” Dr David remarked, putting his tablet down, “Nothing to be concerned about, as I’m sure Dr Tracy wouldn’t let her grandson out of her care otherwise….”

Scott chuckled in agreement. Grandma was a force to be reckoned with when it came to matters of health. 

And she had a pupil called Virgil. 

“But if it’s not gone by this time next week, I would advise getting it checked….” Dr David suggested as he set up the blood pressure monitor. 

Scott nodded thoughtfully, “Will do….” 

And seeing as they had a doctor in the house, and most of them were trained medics or EMTs, Scott had no doubt that Alan would get the best care possible. 

He would personally make sure of that…

TBC..

[bloobeary]

scrolling through prompts on here for fun and i realized that ive never written these two preserum so hey here you go

"Stop it Bucky I'm gonna get you sick-- " Steve says, leaning back and away from him.

"It's just the flu honey." Bucky pleads, rubbing a thumb over Steve's knuckles. "I've had the flu a thousand times"

"I don't think thats how it works Buck," Steve says, making a face and pushing Bucky away. He neglects to mention that he has also had the flu a thousand times, yet here he is, sick with the flu.

"Come on, I'll be okay, huh? Just one. You gonna make me go to work without a kiss? You got me in the dog house, baby, you're killing me. Just one--"

Steve rolls his eyes at him and grabs the front of his shirt and pulls him in for a hard kiss, cutting him off. He's panting when he pulls away not because the kiss was particularly labor intensive, but because Steve can't breathe out of his nose and his lungs are doing a horrible job at picking up the slack.

Bucky doesn't even get to be smug about it, instead he frowns a little and rubs his hand over Steve's bony chest as if it'll make the sickness go away. He's running a fever still but he's freezing, wrapped up in one of Bucky's sweaters and under all the blankets they own, which just makes him sweaty and cranky. It's a miracle Bucky even wants to kiss him at all-- he probably looks like he's been dunked in the bay and then dragged behind a car through a couple alleys.

Bucky on the other hand is a glowing picture of health. He's in his work clothes already, long sleeved gray shirt under some suspenders, his coat hanging by the door; in short, he looks like a million bucks (ha), while Steve sits in a pool of his own sweat. Fitting.

Steve takes a breath, and it catches wrong, and he coughs long enough for his eyes to water. It stops before it can turn into wheezing, by the grace of God, but Bucky frowns again, hands like bookends on Steve's body, one on his chest one on his back. "You sure you're gonna be okay?"

"Yes," Steve says. It's a lie, they both know it, but Bucky really can't afford to miss more work, and Steve will be damned if he loses this job because of him, too. He takes another careful breath. "I'll be fine Buck. Go."

Maybe it's a little true in the sense that this isn't the worst bout of influenza he's ever had. At least he's conscious, and that's gotta count for something.

He hums, unconvinced. Steve sets his jaw. "Bucky,"

Bucky sighs again, and puts a hand on Steve's face. "You call if you need anything, hear me?"

Steve doesnt say anything, just rolls his eyes. They don't have a telephone, and no way in hell is he getting out of bed to make it to one of their neighbors that do, let alone to the payphone down the street. It's apparently not the right thing to do, because Bucky chews the inside of his cheek. "I'm staying."

"You ain't." Steve says, and pushes him off the bed. It only sort of works. "Go to work, James Buchanan Barnes, so help me God."

Bucky stands, puts his hands on his hips, and then sighs. "Alright." He says, and pulls his coat on. He grabs Steve's face in his hands and kisses him again. "Don't wait up for me." He says, smiling finally.

"I won't. I'll even lock you out, again." Steve says, managing a smile too. Bucky looks at him like his heart is breaking, Steve looks away. "Go, Bucky. Good god. You're worse than my Ma." Steve says, and then wipes his nose with the back of his hand.

Bucky stops with his hand on the doorknob, brown paper bag full of whatever half assed meal they could afford to throw together clutched in the same hand his hat is in. Steve shoos him off, and Bucky just sighs. He's worried as hell, and Steve hates it. Hates that he's right to be. "You better be asleep when I get home." He says, as if Steve's not just gonna fall asleep as soon as Bucky leaves. Steve pulls the blanket tighter around his shoulders. "I mean it, punk."

Steve makes a face at him. "It'd be easier to sleep if you could stop smothering the hell outta me for five seconds." He says, and Bucky laughs and looks up at the ceiling as if asking for divine guidance.

"You love me,"

"It varies." Steve says, except it doesn't come out at all like he wanted it to, probably betrayed by the stupid fond look on his face.

Bucky smiles at him like he's won something, and then just fixes his cap on his head and finally heads out. He's gonna be late, Steve thinks absently before he falls back on the bed, exhausted.

He is asleep when Bucky gets home, almost dawn by that point. Before he does anything else, Bucky walks over to the bed and checks Steve's temperature, lips to his forehead. His fever's broken, finally, after six days, and Bucky feels something come loose in his chest as he exhales. Steve's still piled up under all the blankets, though, but it looks like he's taken the sweater off. Bucky smiles and kisses his forehead again, this time because he wants to, and goes to wash up before catching a few hours of sleep.

Sure enough, a few weeks later Steve's still sick but at least he can stand up and walk now instead of being restrained to the bed, and Bucky has a stuffed nose. "Told you I'd get you sick." Steve says, handing Bucky a spoon.

Bucky smiles and sets it on the table, opting instead to grab Steve by the back of the neck and swoop in to give him a kiss. He can't even complain now, since whatever Bucky has, Steve does too. Knowing Steve's luck though it'll probably make him sick all over again.

"Worth it." He says, and then kisses him again.

Bucky smiles at him once he's pulled away, so much so that it makes Steve smile, too. Though begrudgingly, he resents the fact that Bucky can look that good while sick, nothing more than a slight red tinge to his nose. He doesn't even sound congested. Asshole.

[deancas-fanfiction]

Hardest Part is Letting Go

Part 1/7

Pairing: Dean Winchester/Castiel

Summary: Upon his diagnosis of a terminal illness, Dean vows to spend the rest of his short life with Cas by his side, completing his bucket list while learning what it really means to live and love. 

Also available on ao3.

Dean had never been a romantic – that was always Cas and his extravagant date planning. It was incredibly endearing, but Dean just wasn’t one of those people that cared about that kind of stuff. He loved it because Cas loved it. Funny how a terminal illness can change someone.

           It was one year earlier, just after Dean’s thirtieth birthday. Recently he hadn’t been feeling well. His energy level was low, and the sweeping waves of nausea became all too familiar. While low energy wasn’t exactly uncommon for him, this was different. Dean barely had the energy to get out of bed. At first, Cas assumed it was some kind of flu, so they spent day in bed watching old western movies and eating soup. It was a few days later when Dean realized something wasn’t quite right. Along with the loss of energy, came the loss of appetite, and consistent headaches. Dean hid it well, though. After all, he didn’t want to worry Cas or Sam. So he pretended everything was fine for the next few weeks and almost convinced himself he was starting to feel better. He thought that with time it would eventually go away. However, it ws quite the contrary.

           One morning Dean awoke at his worst with a sharp, hot pain in his head; it was by far the most excruciating thing he has ever experienced. Biting down on his pillow, he screamed. He screamed until his voice was hoarse, just trying to release some of the pressure in his head. His nails dug into the blankets, begging for the pain to end. Soon darkness took over his vision and he drifted into blissful unconsciousness, away from the pain.

           The next time Dean woke up he was in a hospital, with an IV hooked to his right arm and an oxygen tube in his nose. The fluorescent lights were harsh, highlighting the deep bags under his eyes. At least the pain in his head had subdued. His vision became sharper as the flog from the drugs cleared. Dean looked around the room, noting the ‘get well soon’ balloons and cards that littered the room. To his left was a card with a scrawl so ineligible it could only be identified as Sam’s attempt at handwriting. But the thing that caught his attention was Cas, sitting in this stiff chair next to his bed, his head resting on his hands.

           Dean shot up, suddenly alarmed as he remembered the events that led to him being here. He sat up, pulling at the IV, panic rising in his chest. His hate for hospitals was heightened and all he could focus on was getting out of here. But then Cas’s head shot up to the sounds of Dean rustling in bed. He scooted his chair closer to the bed, resting his hand on Dean’s.

           Dean frowned as he observed his boyfriend’s face. His nose was runny, and his eyes were pink and swollen. He had been crying. It was enough to stop Dean’s frantic movements as his heart rate increased. Cas very rarely cries, and when he does it’s for good reason. Cas ignored Dean’s questioning look. With light touches, he brushed Dean’s matted hair out of his face. It was comforting, but if anything, it just worried Dean more.  

           An advanced terminal illness. That’s what the test results said.    

           Those four words ruined Dean and Cas’s life. Those four words unraveled years of plans the two had previously made, imagining they had all of the time in the world. Now he was told he would have two years if he was lucky. Dean’s doctors offered aggressive treatment to prolong the inevitable, but he denied it. He knows what that treatment does to patients. They’re violently ill, bed ridden, and spend most of their time imprisoned in hospitals. Dean wanted to spend the rest of his short life as himself, with Cas by his side.

It wasn’t something to easily become accustomed to. Cas was in denial in the beginning. He went about life as if nothing has changed, but at night he would hold onto Dean extra tight, with no intention of letting go. It went on like this for a few weeks, until Dean came home from visiting Sam for the weekend to find Cas sitting on the kitchen floor sobbing. Dean dropped his duffel bag and wrapped his arms around Cas. He held him close, kissing the top of his head, burying his nose into his boyfriend’s dark hair, memorizing his scent. His hand rubbed small circles on Cas’s back, knowing it comforts him. He nearly let out a humorless laugh at the thought that he was the one dying, but also the one doing the comforting. It was then that he realized Cas is the only that has to live without him. If it was Cas dying, Dean knew he’d be completely broken too.

After they both released the emotions they had been repressing, they actually felt a little better. Now that they accepted the inevitable, they could live each day to the fullest. Without further discussion, Dean and Cas quit their respective jobs to focus on living life in the now. Besides, that’s what emergency savings are for, right?

This brings Dean to where he is now. Sitting in the living room at three in the morning with a glass of bourbon, paper, and a pen. He could feel his health slowly deteriorating and he knew he was running out of time. Dean estimated he had about six months remaining. At night he’d close his eyes and be met with the image of a clock. It would start with the seconds slowly ticking by and then morph into something sinister. Suddenly it was a calendar, with pages tearing away and flying off until there was nothing left but blackness and silence. There was nothingness. He’d wake in a cold sweat, with the constant reminder of the inevitable looming over his head. Dean shook his head, shaking the dark thoughts. He took a sip of his drink before focusing back on the task at hand.

1.     Have breakfast in bed

2.     Stargaze until the sun rises

3.     Kiss in the rain

4.     Rent a beach house for the weekend

5.     Watch Sam graduate from law school

6.     Go on a road trip with a kickass playlist

7.     Get married

8.     Go skinny dipping

9.     Die loved

Dean hadn’t realized he was crying until a tear his list, smudging some of his handwriting. There was still so much he wanted to do, so much more he wanted to see but deep down he knew he didn’t have the time for it. Hell, he didn’t=’t even know if he had time for his list. But he was going to try. He looked back at a few items on the list and managed a small smile, so much for not being a romantic.

Dean looked up when he heard some shuffling and the opening of a door. His eyes met a sleepy Cas, with his blue eyes bleary and hair ruffled more than usual. It was a sight he could never get sick of.

“Can’t sleep?” Cas asked quietly. Dean hummed in response, struggling to get his emotions in check. He hated this vulnerability that came with the diagnosis. Making this list made him even more emotional and he knew that crying in front of Cas would only make things harder.

“Me neither,” Cas sighed, joining Dean on the couch. He leaned into his side, curling in to soak in his body heat. “I can never sleep very long without you next to me.”

Dean smiled at that and kissed Cas on the temple. Cas sighed contentedly before frowning when he saw the list in Dean’s hand. “Is that your bucket list?”

“Yeah, I figured since we have some time, we should make the most of it, you know? And there’s a lot of things I’ll never get the chance to do, so I thought I’d make a list of the ones most important to me.”

Cas gingerly grabbed the list out of his hand and read through it, a sad smile on his face. “No backpacking across Europe?”

“I don’t think there’s time for a trip to Europe,” Dean mumbled. He and Cas had dreamed of backpacking across Europe since they were in college. They talked of romantic stops in Italy for the food, France for the champagne, Ireland for the Guinness and beautiful countryside, Scotland for the scotch, and so much more. Cas just nodded in response, swallowing the lump in his throat. He didn’t want to think about the concept of time at the moment.

“What do you want to do first?” Cas asked, his voice cracking.

“Right now, all I want to do is go to bed with you.”

“Alright, then let’s go to bed,” He replied, grabbing Dean’s hand and leading him into the bedroom with a sly smile on his face.

The next morning Dean awoke with another headache. He wasn’t surprised, it’s been happening a lot more often lately. He sat up and reached for the numerous pill bottles on the table next to the bed and took the numerous pills prescribed to him by his doctors to keep his symptoms under control. Forcing his legs out from under the warmth of the blankets, Dean got up to go see what Cas was doing. While Dean has always slept later than Cas, he usually lays in bed with him reading a book while waiting for Dean to wake. After all, Cas knows how much Dean hates waking up alone.

           Just as Dean was crossing the door, he was met with Cas carrying a tray full of chocolate chip pancakes, eggs, a heaping pile of bacon and his usual cup of coffee.

           “Cas…” Dean started, realizing what he was doing.

           “Dean! You ruined it. To have breakfast in bed, you actually need to be in bed.” He pouted which caused Dean to laugh at his boyfriend. He quickly turned around and crawled back into their bed.

           “We don’t have to do everything on the list right away, angel.” He retorted, pulling the warm blankets on his lap. His voice came across softer than the joking manner he intended. His gratefulness for Cas shone through his usual sarcastic façade. Cas chose to ignore the comment and set the tray on the middle of the bed, settling next to him. “But thank you,” Dean added, giving Cas a kiss on the lips.

           Cas smiled, his blue eyes impossibly bright in the early afternoon light. Dean sighed, staring as he admired Cas’s beauty. His dark hair is tousled, sticking in all directions accompanied with the stubble that comes from not shaving for a few days. He’s dressed in one of Dean’s classic rock shirts and a pair of boxers, with the smell of coffee lingering on his breath. Dean smiles at him, bacon momentarily forgotten, only consumed by thoughts of Cas. When things get bad, he wants to remember this specific moment and how happy the two of them are. ‘When things get bad…’ Dean ended that train of thought and shook himself out of his daze, turning his attention to his delicious breakfast instead.

________

A/N: Hi friends! I’m so excited to post my first Dean/Cas fanfic! I’ve written for other fandoms before but I just can’t shake the finale so here’s my coping mechanism. This fic is finished, totaling at about 15,000 words. I plan to post either weekly or twice a week, depending on the reception this gets. Please let me know any feedback or submit any prompts!

[judgement-free-sideblog]

Ghosts from the rainforest

Captain James Conrad x Reader

Summary: A simple rescue mission will bring him back to a place full of nightmares, and maybe this time he could find redemption. Situated in 1975, 2 years after the events of Skull Island.

Warnings: Violence, blood, wounds, mentions of war, cursing, implied smut, smoking, angst.

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

I finally manage to write the end to this tiny fic, I hope you like it, and I'm going to start on my ideas for a Jonathan Pine adventure, but I haven't decide yet.

Chapter 7: Fever [Final]

The helicopter was already on motion, and the rescue crew that Brooks had sent for you were charging everything for the trip. The guys were excited to finally going back home, the Celebes Sea was ahead of you in the military base you were staying, and waiting in the Pacific the majestic USS Constellation  (CV-64) waiting to take all of you home.

Home? A country that had make more damage and taken everything from you, your family, and had force you to live away to mend some of the atrocities they had committed in the name of freedom.

"Not looking so charming today are we?" You said to him once he walked in your room to pick up your bags, you have finally stop the hostilities after he had offered you his shoulder to cry while you mourned Shukri on his funeral and after all the physical torture he had endured so you could safely leave Borneo.

He had been clear about letting you stay if that was what you wanted, and even when the rest of the crew asume you were coming back to USA, he knew you would have to say goodbye sooner or later, so instead of telling him all the things your heart was keeping from him you kept teasing him and pretending the chopper was not waiting for him.

"I have a minor headache love, but it's okay, are you ready to say goodbye?" He said and you noted how his temple had a few wrinkles, he was trying to smile over the pain in his head "It's a shame you don't come with us, I have a lot of things I wanted to show you" he grabbed your hand and all your alarms started to scream.

"Conrad are you okay?" Those words were all you have hoped for, however the radiant heat from his skin told you he was not exactly fine. "Dear God you are burning up" You said touching his head and looking desperately for a thermometer in your belongings.

"I like you too doctor, but why don't we wait until we get to the ship, we can share a bunk bed" He was definitely not himself.

"103° damn it Conrad!" You said, and for some oddly reason remember the night he told you about Randa and how much he complained about mosquitoes while he was dressing "Look at me, I'm not kidding, did you take Chloroquine before we leave Malaysia? I told you guys you had to..."

He nodded negative, and before he could speak he simply throw up in the nearest trash bin, making you suspect of the worst, specially since all the medicine was now gone and the only viable solution now was the aircraft carrier in the middle of the Pacific waiting for you.

"Also you have perfect legs you know that? I could spend my life sleeping on them." He kept saying things like that while you helped him to the heliport "Come here princess your prince charming needs your love" he said trying to kiss you.

"Later dear, preferably when you're not dying or smelling like vomit" you tried to stop him.

"Well you didn't mind me covered in dirt and sweat" He tried again but he stopped to scream "Reg! I love you man, you are like a son to me" and also tried to kiss the boy on the forehead.

"What happened to the Captain?" Slivko asked concerned once you help him to board the chopper while carrying his luggage and your medical bag.

"I have no idea, but I'm afraid it might be Malaria" you said bluntly and all of them looked concerned at you, while he vomited again "Do you have medical equipment here?" You asked the pilot and he only raised his thumb while you make sure he was steady on the helicopter floor, and almost didn't feel the machine take off while you tried to put an IV on his arm.

After one hour that felt like ten you could no longer see the island, only the immensity of the Pacific, and growing in the horizon the USS Constellation, even when you despised war and everything it represented the enormous carrier was enough to let you speechless, specially when a team of nurses and a doctor was already with a stretcher waiting for him.

"It's going to be ok James" you told him holding his hand while the experts rushed him inside.

"You really like men to die quite literally for you right?" He tried to joke, fighting the impulse of vomiting again, "Hey it's okay, I have to take care of you remember?" He smiled and you hold his hand trying to not get on the way of the medical staff, but he was too weak and fall asleep.

After they had stabilized his temperature, and take samples of his blood to determine the pathogen they let you in, the beds inside the medical bay of the ship were oddly spacious, and you could be sited next to him without any other person listening.

"Y/N?" He asked opening his beautiful eyes, "Hey it's okay love, I'm feeling better" He said and tried to reach for the glass of water on the table.

"Let me" You said and put it closer to him, "I know, once they identify the plasmodium they will know what is the best treatment for you, they take test and interrogate all of us, don't tell him I told you but Reles almost passed out when he saw the needle " He attempt to laugh but was still weak so he only smiled.

"Well is rewarding seen you on my dead bed, I'm quite honored, tears look oddly beautiful on you" He said and a small smile form in your lips.

"And you are still delirious" You said looking for a piece of cloth, and cold water from the sink to put on his head. "Here, try to rest, I'll come see you later" you told him but before your hand could leave his head he hold you still "What?"

"I might be dying, so you owe me at least listening me like adults" He said forcing you to stay next to him.

"You are not dying" you said trying to sound like it didn't matter and failing miserably "you are not, but fine. Let's talk" you concede.

"I'm sorry" he started contrary to what you had expected. "I had no idea how you looked before we met, and i was under no circumstances trying to seduce you to lure you back to America" you blush and regret your decision to stay by his side.

"I'm sorry too" You responded after a while "You have done so much helping me, even when half of the trouble I caused was preventable if I haven't trusted in the wrong people." You said and he hold your hand softly, he didn't want to hear about that, and you knew it so you took all the courage you have to continue. "And I'm sorry I over reacted, I am so used to people coming to me with second intentions that I just pushed you away to avoid getting hurt, and I just end up making other people hurt you"

"I'm sorry I make you come to the ship, I knew you wanted to stay" he said sincerely.

"It's okay, I have to make sure you stay alive, you know for the boys, maybe working at Monarch with you and Brooks won't be so bad"

"Well you can always run away from us in Hawaii, or maybe... we could run away together" He gave you a pleading look, and for moment you could imagine that life, keep running away, by his side, the soldier that never came home, and the idealist doctor, and keep leaving ghosts in every island, trying to find happiness apart from the world, but together. He kissed you, but this time it wasn't a lusty hunger kiss, nor passionate and angry like before, it was reassuring and you knew no matter what your answer was, he was on your side, for the first time you had someone on your side "So what do you say?"

But you couldn't answer because out of nowhere your stomach make you nauseous and you rush to the toilet to empty its content.

"Are you okay dear?" He screamed from the bed "I'm trying bloody hard to not take this as criticism"

"I'm okay, but I'm going to check your tests and start taking the pills before I end up confessing my sins on the fever like you" you said and walked out of the bathroom to saw him "We can talk later" you assure him.

You marched inside the medical office and started to look in the cabinets, when the young doctor that had received Conrad walked in.

"I'm sorry, I start feeling the symptoms and I thought it would be better if I start on the chloroquine before it gets worse" you excuse yourself.

"That would be great, if any of you had Malaria" he said offering you a seat that you take since he speak with a Texan accent and an authoritarian voice that made up from his young face "But we test all of you and what our SAS friend has is more likely a stomach flu from some bad shrimp, I was just on my way to tell him." He said and you sigh in relief, but also concerned about your own symptoms

"Oh that's great, but I start barfing too, and I didn't had the shrimp last night" you said and he took out a small file with your name that the nurses had put together earlier.

"Well it may be motion sickness, we are in a boat after all, or maybe... you told the nurse you didn't remember when was your last period?" He said looking the file.

"Well we have been in the jungle almost a month so I wasn't exactly counting" you tried to joke.

"The change of environment can trigger the vomit, or if you had sex in the past three weeks you might be pregnant" He smiled and all the weight of the world fall into your shoulders instantly. "In any case you should rest and let alone my medical cabinets, go with nurse Matthews she will give you some vitamins" he said but you were not longer listening.

No, it couldn't be that, right? You tried to convince your mind, but deep down you knew it was true, what would he think? He was a soldier, a man of the field, not a father, and you were obviously not a mother, what will happen now? Now that he wanted to run away in the world next to you, a baby had a place on that plan?.

Two days later Conrad was out of the medical bay and trying to approach you, offering you a fresh start from the afternoon you pause all those weeks ago in Malaysia.

But the stolen kisses on the hallways, and his nightly incursions on your cabin only made it harder for you to find a way to come clean about your news, even when the idea had already sink in your mind, because it was a baby, and it was his baby, how could you not be happy and grateful? Yet you haven't say anything to him.

Four days later he had spend the whole day walking on the deck with you, like if the planes and choppers were an appropriate sighting for a date.

"We'll be in Hawaii soon" He started "If you want to go out for a walk in the morning and get lost in the jungle we have to star planning now" he said and you were looking at the ocean trying to make up your mind.

"Maybe... I was wondering about the work you do at Monarch, maybe I will give it a chance" you start not sure how the whole we are having a baby situation will fit in your speech "I mean if you want to travel the world it might help to have a paying job for a while" you were nervously touching your hands.

"Of course, also when the baby comes I would like to have a proper house for him to be... or she, I don't care you know? as long as they're healthy" he said and you nodded yes.

"Yeah of course... what??" You look at him and he had the most radiant smile on his face, and he was clearly holding his laugh and apparently tears, of joy? "How do you know?

"Well nurse Matthews saw us kissing and then she complained about how Children this days keep having children out of wedlock" he said and you hide your face on your hands.

"I was really going to tell you... for real is just..." but you didn't have the words in you, and the tears were running on your face

"I know, it's fine, I mean is a little soon but if I'm honest I'm tired of running, and after all we've been trough I couldn't imagine a single person to share this experience with" He said cleaning the tears from your face.

"You sure?" You asked again, needing to hear it from his mouth.

"I'm sure, I fall in love with you when I saw you scaring local vendors in Malaysia and then fighting guerilla liders in Borneo, I even loved you when you vomit after kissing me for real, I'm completely taken by you Y/N"

"I fall in love with you too James" you said, and his expression got serious for a moment. "What?"

"Nothing, is just that I'm going to miss Prince Charming" he said giving you again the disarming smile that had started all this adventure.

The end

@damalseer

@kinghiddlestonanddixon (I hope you like the end)

[babywarg]

Drpepperony Prompt: Pepper gets sick/injured and Tony calls the hospital demanding they send their absolute best doctor. Leaves Pepper to answer to phone and walks back in on the most handsome man ever taking care of Pepper.

hello! took quite a few liberties with your prompt here (again 😅), but i still hope you like it 💖

set shortly after Iron Man 2 and before the first Avengers movie.

[10/03/2019: NOT ACCEPTING NEW PROMPTS AT THE MOMENT. Thank you for understanding 💕]

***

One day without Ms. Potts was manageable. Barely.

Two days was hell.

Three days got Tony inquiring after the state of her health.

When he learned she was in the hospital recovering from extreme fatigue, he dropped everything to race over to said hospital.

His first impulse was to use the Iron Man suit. It would have taken him there faster.

But it was a hospital. She (as well as everyone else there) would not have appreciated the loud and flashy disruption. Therefore, a car would do.

Extreme fatigue.

She had only said she was under the weather. He was imagining she was sitting at home, bundled up in blankets or in a fluffy robe, sniffling cutely while nursing a mug of hot cocoa she’d made for herself.

At worst, it would be the flu. She would still call. Assure him and all other stakeholders that way that everything was going to be fine.

But it had been fatigue, not the flu. She had collapsed as she was walking to her parked car three days ago, on her way to work. Other tenants of her apartment building found her and rushed her to Metro General.

The hospital Tony was rushing to get to.

He hadn’t thought about bringing her anything. That was why the balloon he’d bought at the hospital lobby, when Shit I’d forgotten to bring her something finally crossed his mind, said “It’s a boy!” instead of “Get well soon!” (he was in a hurry and had grabbed the wrong balloon).

He hadn’t even thought about calling ahead. Which would have been a wise idea.

It would’ve spared him the shock of finding her smiling and laughing with a cute, young, blue-eyed doctor as she lay in her hospital bed, hooked up to an IV.

Tony didn’t know what he had been prepared to find. Ms. Potts still unconscious, maybe? Emaciated, barely able to move, like a damsel in distress?

But she looked fine. Just a little pale and weak, perhaps, but stunning as ever. Certainly strong enough to flash her billion dollar smile at a total stranger.

And the doctor she was with…looked fine.

“Don’t worry, sir, she’d asked for the best doctor in the hospital,” the nurse rushed to tell his anxious ass at reception, but he didn’t stay to hear the rest of it.

So this was the best doctor in the hospital.

“Tony!” she greeted breathlessly. “What are you doing here?”

She looked genuinely surprised to see him. The doctor standing by her bed, however, seemed unimpressed.

“I, uh,” he began. Man, that doctor had pretty eyes. “Heard you were sick? Thought you may appreciate seeing a familiar face.”

All things considered, she really did look glad to see Tony. Which was a relief.

“Of course,” she said softly. “Thank you. And I’m sorry you had to come all this way. I didn’t want to trouble you.” She glanced over at the doctor. “I was going straight to the office to take care of everything after getting discharged tomorrow.”

“Hold on, Ms. Potts,” the young doctor sternly interrupted, in a deep baritone that flowed over to Tony like melted butter. “First of all, I haven’t signed off on that yet. We still have a couple more tests to run and I may decide to keep you here another night.”

“That’s why I got the best doctor in the house,” Ms. Potts argued, in a lightly flirtatious tone that did not escape Tony. “I have no choice but to get better fast, and I will.”

“Second,” - completely ignoring said flirtatious tone - “you’re heading back to work as soon as you get out of here? You’ve got to be kidding.”

“That’s right, Ms. Potts, you’ve got to be kidding,” Tony immediately echoed. “You’re going to stay and rest for as long as you need to.”

He stepped forward to hand the “It’s a boy!” balloon over to his former executive secretary. Who seemed amused and discreetly weirded out at the gift.

“Really,” Ms. Potts muttered, one corner of her lip raised. “I seem to recall you are no longer the boss of me.”

Tony made a playful warning gesture with one hand. “I made you CEO. I can take that back, you know.”

She smiled. Gosh, how he loved when he could make her smile. He was going to have to tell her that someday.

“I’m sorry, you are - ?”

This was from Doctor Hottie at her bedside. The question made Tony pause. Or maybe it was the way the doctor’s eyes seemed to look right into his soul.

“I’m her - ” What? Significant other? Ex-boss? Biggest headache? “ - friend.”

Ms. Potts’ eyebrows rose upon hearing that…though she didn’t overtly dispute it.

“Right,” the doctor answered, incredulous - apparently every bit as perceptive as he looked. “I’m Doctor Stephen Strange, Ms. Potts’ attending physician. I was in the middle of discussing Ms. Potts’ test results with her. This is normally information reserved for the family and the patient herself, so I’ll continue if Ms. Potts allows me - otherwise I’ll come back later. I do have other patients to see.”

Uh, wow. Self-important, much?

“Okay, Doc uh…” Tony fumbled for the name. “…Strange, is it? Can I talk to you outside for a bit?”

Strange looked over at Ms. Potts. Ms. Potts nodded, giving him permission.

He stepped out of the room with Tony without further argument.

Tony wasted no time in introducing himself properly - Tony Stark, president of Stark Industries, yadda yadda - and asking Dr. Strange what the deal was. And Strange was no-nonsense about it, which Tony appreciated.

Ms. Potts had not been sleeping. She’d been neglecting drinking fluids and eating healthily. She had been going to the gym, but without proper rest and nutrition, she had just been pushing her body past its limits. Her stress and anxiety levels were through the roof. And all of it had been going on for months.

Tony’s quick-working brain translated it as this:

Ms. Potts getting sick was his fault, for forcing her into a promotion.

They’d known each other for a while now. He should have known that the perfectionist in her might push her to be harder on herself than she actually needed to be.

Lots of company heads barely did any work. But Ms. Potts was always a hands-on manager. She would never be that kind of CEO.

“She needs rest,” Dr. Strange emphasized. “Bed rest. At least a week of it. Two would be ideal.”

“Two weeks,” Tony thoughtfully repeated. “There’s…no way to speed that up, is there?”

An eyebrow shot up. “Eager to get her back to the grind, are you?”

“No.” Asshole. “I just know her well enough to know that there’s no way in hell she’ll take to two weeks of staying indoors. Stark Industries is her baby. If she’s not with her baby, she won’t be able to rest anyway.”

To Tony’s surprise, a note of compassion entered the doctor’s voice.

“I’m not recommending so much downtime on a whim. The fact of the matter is, Ms. Potts’ body badly needs to remember how to relax. When was the last time she went on vacation?”

Tony tried to think back. And came up blank.

“I…huh,” he remarked. “I don’t think she’s ever taken a vacation since she started working at SI.”

“You say you’re her friend,” the doctor said. “The best thing you could do for her as a friend is to convince her to listen to her doctor. And try to ease her burden.”

Tony thought for a second.

“I do have a place upstate,” he mused aloud. “A lakeside log cabin…nice little place, perfect for an extended vacation. She ought to be able to relax there.”

“Sounds like a plan,” Strange agreed.

“It’s about a two-hour drive from here. How much to book you for regular home visits?”

The question seemed to take the good doctor aback.

“I’m a resident, Mr. Stark. I don’t do home visits.” He sounded genuinely offended, and just a tad amused. “And you can’t ‘book’ me, I’m not a taxi.”

“Wrong choice of words.” Tony threw his hands up in apology. “I’m just saying…she seems to like you. And I want her to get the best medical care while she’s recovering. Money’s no object.”

The doctor looked Tony up and down. Man, how could he look so handsome while being so annoying?

“In that case,” Dr. Strange responded, smirking, “we may be able to arrange something. Call my assistant.”

This seemed to conclude their conversation. Without so much as a by-your-leave, the annoyingly hot young doctor left to resume his rounds.

Tony let him go; his mind was already buzzing with plans to accommodate Ms. Potts in his lakeside cabin for two weeks. He had better make sure he was with her for those two weeks, just to make sure she really was resting, you know, and not on her phone stressing out and trying to run things by remote control.

And he had better be around for when Doctor Sexy came to visit.

You know.

Just to be safe.

[damdahdi-studies]

exam season

the last 2 weeks have been exam season. leading up to exams i ran week-long blocks of distracting websites on my mac, so I haven’t been able to get on tumblr.... so finally updating now: (more like ranting.) 

one math exam left, on thursday morning

exams so far have been.... okay. none of them i feel particularly good about, but overall i think i managed to deal with the stress/anxiety better this semester than last, just a little bit 

some nice things that happened before exams: 

100% in Chinese speaking mock exam, listening and writing section of written mock exam. i didn’t really realise it until i looked back on my old posts and read how i felt after first set of exams just now, but i have come ... maybe not a long way, but some kind of way :] at the time i was very insecure about just myself and barely believed i could improve on my own; yet i did to a standard i never could’ve dreamed even start of this year. 

somehow obtained 90% in an oral presentation i made about The Crucible by Arthur Miller. i still don’t know how I did it, but I’m glad i improved from the 60s i got last semester in presentations. public speaking still felt like hell though 

top female scorer in my state for some maths competition. also have no idea how i did this, i thought i would get distinction at best. 

changed piano teachers (previous teacher recommended the new one) 

dress for year 12 ball next year arrived. it’s a soft grey pretty thing 

my birthday was during exam season :/ 

also first set of my own prayer beads arrived. have been using them daily since 

reflecting on each subject: (so I can read back on this after i get my marks back and be like haha....  you fool.) 

Literature: better than last time is all i can say... it was okay (still felt like hell during the exam because it’s Literature) managed time during exam slightly better, I didn’t panic as much, but that’s about it lmao i’m crossing my fingers for a low 70s and double crossing for an A. i wasn’t able to or simply didn’t contribute much effort/time to literature this semester, so a B wouldn’t really be a fuck-i-tried-so-hard-why-did-i-get-this-grade kind of punch in the gut, but it would be really nice to not break an all A streak... but I highly suspect I will get a B

Methods (maths): exam was harder than i expected. hoping for a 90s though, a mark that wont bring my average down. i think i was best prepared for methods compared to other subjects, emphasis on COMPARED to other subjects. -_- 

Physics: ahh physics. a whole debacle happened during the exam, please see below. other than that the exam was... kind of expected difficulty? which is difficult, but it wasn’t terrible-terrible. i’m hoping for an 80s. i really can’t hope for much, i was probably delirious half the time. i did manage to ‘finish’ (attempt every question) though i wish i got more time... i couldn’t double check many questions and there was this one question i wanted to spend more time on but oh well... 

summary: i threw up once before the exam, twice during.  

ate a blueberry bagel with cream cheese, with some salmon on top for breakfast. looking back, it was probably the salmon. 

didn’t feel good after. got to school feeling pretty sick in the stomach and a pretty bad headache.... which escalated to one of the worst headaches ive had in the last 3 years in 20 minutes 

at this point i could tell something was wrong and that i was about to throw up 

went to the toilet, tried to throw up whatever was causing pain to my body, but couldn’t. only ended up scaring away some poor kid in the next cubicle 

FIRST TIME: left toilet. sit still for 10 minutes outside, feeling progressively worse. go back to the toilet, then throw up a lot. gargle, wash face, go back to find everyone filing into the exam room. 

feeling slightly better at this point since ive thrown up (i thought i had emptied most of my stomach by then. spoiler alert: no) and decide internally to just do the exam. (if i don’t, then i would have to fill out some form, probably do the exam way later. too annoying) 

SECOND TIME: so i sit the exam. 5-6 minutes into reading time, i feel another wave of throwing up coming. i raise my hand, i’m at the very back of the hall, so examiner takes a bit to notice. my brainwashed ass brain thinks i can’t stand up and leave without the examiners spoken permission, so i persist in sitting in my seat for around 10 seconds until she’s there, i’m already throwing up in my mouth at this point. finally something snaps and i make a break for the toilet, but it’s too late and i throw up all over the floor. in the exam hall. Fuck. i immediately apologise on the spot. 

examiner leads me to toilet. i throw up some more. gargle, wash face. she asks me to step outside for a couple of minutes for fresh air and i do. 5 minutes later she comes back and asks me if i want to continue the exam. i say yes. we go back in, the vomit is gone from the floor. she moves my seat closer to the exit, and tells me i can bolt out whenever i need to throw up. i sit the exam. 

some time after this, the other examiner leaves a vomit bag next to me just in case

THIRD TIME: an hour in? i feel another wave coming. i grab the vomit bag, make a dash for the toilets but the stupid old door won’t open properly. the examiner helps me open the door and i throw up in the toilets, in the vomit bag this time. it’s not as much as the previous two times. tie up the bag, throw it in the bin, gargle, wash face. 

instinctively i feel that this is the last time i’ll throw up, that i’ve truly emptied everything from my stomach this time. headache is way weaker at this point. 

go back in and examiner asks me if i’m really sure i want to continue the exam, whether or not if i want to fill in a form excusing myself from the exam. i say no.

about an hour left in the exam, which i sit in utter peace 

didn’t get any extra time. 

apologised to some people around me after the exam while filing out of the hall... i suffered but they did too. 

went home and drank some stomach soothing tea. slept

ate porridge for the next 2 days. 

Chemistry: it was.... okay. i did finish and attempt every question. there were a couple of questions in multiple choice i was iffy about and a question in short answer i was like um... what? to, but other than that it was.... eh. i didn’t study much for it, so whatever mark i get i deserve. if i do defend myself it was 3 days after the shit show that was the physics exam, and i felt sick for at least a day after.... but yeah. should’ve tried more. 

during reading time, the examiner who saved my life put the vomit bag on my desk in the physics exam came and asked me if i was feeling better 

i said i’m feeling good thanks : ) 

like an hour later? i feel sickness coming. not stomach this time, just general sickness. somehow i get a fever and subsequently, the FLU in the middle of the chem exam- 

i highly suspect i got it from the examiner 

come back home to find out that i really do have a fever

this was yesterday. yes i’m sick now. like, more sick. 

Chinese: this was today. i’m still kind of too traumatised to reflect on it properly. Chinese is the only subject that ive studied the yr 12 course for this year, so this exam really counts. like 35% of my final grade counts kind of counts. and i did pretty bad. like pretty bad. it was definitely more difficult than the mock exams, and the recordings in listening section were quicker than previous years. the writing section was... traumatising while writing i kind of had a wave of anxiety/panic hit me? i could feel my heartbeat my face was burning and i started sweating ;-; and even the reading section, which is usually okay, was a bit hard. i’ll get the marks back and my final grade for this subject in December - we’ll see until then. got a slightly overdue birthday present before the exam tho :) 

So yup. that’s my exam season. i’m typing this instead of studying for my maths exam day after tomorrow but hey, i’m sick and need rest, right? 

overall, these exams i managed to keep control of my stress a bit better, i wasn’t so overwhelmed like last time. last semester i could barely live, literally. this time i made the habit of living at the library which i found really helpful and comparatively productive, i’ll definitely be using that strategy more often. i’m just glad i managed to study SOMETHING or prepare for exams explicitly this time, because i was simply too overwhelmed to do that last time. i improved. maybe not by much, maybe it doesn’t seem like much, but it’s better than none... 

i’m not saying i don’t have regrets or shortcomings in these exams. i definitely do. DeFinITEly. but doesn’t mean i didn’t improve. i did improve. just, maybe not as much as i wanted. 

i really learned to the bone this time that learning during the semester is so, so important. i think that’s just a wisdom i’ll have to carry through the rest of my academic career. 

wish me luck for my maths exam on Thursday 

my friends and ive already planned an outing for after the exams :) 

also getting overdue birthday presents next monday! :D 

[disabled-queen-hc-blog]

Suppose John has a heart condition, he's had it since birth and generally he's been able to cope and live a normal(ish) life, but then one night during a mid 80's concert he suddenly collapses backstage with a suspected heart attack?

I couldn’t find anything saying specific heart conditions caused heart attacks. Of the risk factors I saw, the two that ring out to me are stress and substance abuse. I hope that’s okay with you.

♚

John felt fine.

Well, he did when he first got on stage.

Maybe he was a little more tired than usual, but he was acting like himself, prancing around the stage in his tiny shorts, laughing and dancing. It was when they reached the halfway mark of the show did he start to feel...off.

He couldn’t find the exact words for it. Perhaps a little dizzy. Light headed. Woozy. It was subtle, so he kept playing, trading in his mini bar drinks for actual water. He didn’t feel drunk, but some proper hydration couldn’t hurt. A few martini’s could really sneak up on you if you didn’t pay attention.

It certainly didn’t help though. That weird feeling continued to rise, in his chest or stomach. He wasn’t sure. His torso felt strained. John slowed down on his dancing a bit, hoping it was over exertion. God, he could really go for a cigarette right about now.

His fingers flew up and down the neck board, looking up to smile at Freddie every so often. Nobody around him knew. Of if they knew, what they knew was that he was high, which wasn’t true. Not at the moment, at least. He looked fine otherwise. Subdued by his usual standard, but nothing drastic. He noticed the change though and it made him nervous. He always worried, though. That was his thing. Worrying until he his nose was buried in some white stuff that made it all go away. 

The worst case scenario was that he was coming down with a flu. Best case scenario was that he was drunk. Middle case scenario was that he was withdrawing. He could handle any of them.

John looked down at his bass, his vision blurring slightly. That’s fine. You just had too much to drink. Keep drinking water and you’ll be okay. He kept saying this to himself, even when he broke out into a cold sweat. It was like his blood turned to ice, coursing painfully south, away from his brain and into his feet. He shivered, wiping away at the sweat on his forehead that felt glacial. Oh, he definitely had the flu. His drunken escapades and lowest highs never felt remotely like this. He prayed he could make it another 30 minutes before the sneezing and runny nose started.

John was steadfast in his belief that he was coming down with something, even after the first pang of nausea hit him. John was a smart man but when things got too serious, he preferred to ignore them. Which he was doing an excellent job of at the moment. He was really good at ignoring reality altogether. He swayed instead of danced, his fingers beginning to shake, missing a few notes here and there. His chest began to grow tight, a terrifying sensation. He’d never had the flu like this before. But it was the flu. It had to be. It couldn’t be anything else. Just a horrible, horrible flu. 

“John,” Brian hissed as he walked over to the bassist, still playing, pretending they were going to jam out together. The music sounded drowned out to John.

“You look pale as a ghost. Are you okay?” Brian said loud enough for John to hear. Brian feared John was preforming while under the influence. Not that it wasn’t a regular thing anymore. John nodded but he didn’t feel okay. It was getting harder and harder to breathe, a tingling in the back of his neck. He’d never fainted before, but he had a feeling this is what it felt like before you dropped.

“I’m fine. Think I’ve got the flu,” he said, his whole body trembling. And then Brian and John didn’t say anything else because everything went black. 

John was lucky he wasn’t conscious for all the gasps in the venue when he landed face first on the floor. Or for when Freddie dropped his mic and ran over to him, Brian kneeling down, yelling amidst the chaos, Roger running backstage for a phone. 

He was really lucky he wasn’t awake when the paramedics got there and started CPR, his ribs breaking in the process. Or when they had to intubate him and ship him off to surgery. 

Most of all, John was lucky that he lived.

When he was wheeled out of the OR, the doctor was shocked he hadn’t had a heart attack weeks ago. Surprised he could even stand for as long as he did. He survived though. He’d recover and there’d be little damage to his heart. John was okay. 

John didn’t feel okay when he woke up. He was confused, his chest sore and his body aching. He tried to get up but somebody pushed him back down.

“Hey there, trooper. Relax. You’re at hospital. Everything’s okay,” a voice said, which he recognized as Roger’s.

John looked around, the room beginning to make sense. All the white and the soft beeping, the IV in his wrist. 

“W-What happened?” he croaked, throat still raw from the intubation. He could see Roger standing besides him, Brian in the far off corner and Freddie sitting down on a chair, eye’s red and glassy.

“You had a heart attack, mate. Right in the middle of Save Me. Scared us pissless,” he replied, a hand going delicately onto John’s shoulder.

John’s eyebrows shot up, his mouth going agape. Heart attack? He’s only in his 30′s! Heart attacks are an old man thing! How the hell did he give himself one?

The confusion in his face was evident, Roger trying to fill in the gaps the best he could. “Uh, well, the doctor will be in soon, I suppose. But he told us a few things could cause heart attacks in youngin’s like you. Stress, tobacco, alcohol and, um...” Roger closed one nostril with his finger, inhaling deeply, the international sign for coke. 

John would blush if he wasn’t so pale. 

All of those..problems he was having would be something for him and the doctor to discuss. He loved his band but he loathed making himself vulnerable in front of them. He wasn’t one to even acknowledge his issues in the first place. He sure as hell wasn’t gonna use them as sit down therapists.

He had other pressing matters to get to either way. A hand flew to his chest, anticipating the sensation of bandages and stitches. “Did they...?” Cut me open, he wanted to say.

Freddie chimed in. “No. They put a tubey thingy in your thigh, all the way up to your heart and fixed..the thing,” Freddie should have let Roger continue answering the questions. He was still too frazzled after all of this. And Brian was brain dead, apparently. 

“Yeah..what he said,” Roger echoed, not knowing how to explain it any better than that. 

“Look, things are gonna be messy for a while. Just remember we’re here for you, Deacy. You’re not going through this alone,” Roger said with a smile. It was hard seeing their youngest like this. And to be truthful, they all felt guilty for not intervening sooner. But this is where they were now and all they wanted was for John to get better. Physically and mentally.

John nodded, shame welling up in him. His heart monitor jumped in speed, making everyone in the room shiver. “Sorry,” he said in a crackled voice, a familiar darkness settling into his stomach.

“Aw, John. C’mon. You two come here, this boy needs a hug,” Roger said, waving Freddie and Brian over to the bed. They surrounded the bed, all eyes on John, a mixture of emotions on all their faces. 

They all took turns, giving him a hug, mussing up his hair, whispering encouraging words to him. It felt nice but John still felt responsible for this mess. That was until it was Freddie’s turn.

He pulled John into a tight embrace, holding him there for a moment. He pulled away, hands still gripping onto him. His eyes expressed so much. They were so tender and warm as he spoke. “I love you, John. We love you,” he said, in a way that made John feel 19 again. 19, young, innocent, untouched and safe. 

John couldn’t stop his eyes from watering or stop himself from burying his face into Freddie’s chest, letting out small broken sobs. They all began to rub his back, cooing at him. Reminding him that they were there for him. That things were going to get better. He’d get better. Things were going to go back to normal.

“I’m scared,” John stuttered in between the tears. Three pairs of arms held onto him tighter.

“We’ve got you, Deacy. We’re not gonna let go. Never.”

Save me, save me, save me,

I can’t face this alone.

Save me, save me, save me,

I’m naked and I’m far from home.

[zoeygreensimblr]

Stay Beautiful (episode 15)

"Can I just have a tiny clue about the surprise" I beg Angus, Wednesday night after the gym, sitting in his office of blandness.

"How are your Essay's coming, there will be no surprise if you haven't finished them" He asks me, I swear he's worse than Don and Mr Landgaarb put together

"I've finished my Simlish one" I explain, hoping that will win him over and he will give me a clue

"And History? Zoey, we had a deal remember?"  He reminds me

"I'll start it Sunday, it will be done by this time next week." I promise him

"And you have to leave time to do a practice test or two, I want you to be well prepared when you take your final exams" He harps on

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, practice tests, got it. Clue please?" I think I'd sell my soul at this point just to know what the surprise is.

"I'll give you two clues" He tells me and I get so excited I jump up from my seat and run up to him for a hug, "Wow, I haven't even told you the clues yet and you're all over me."

"Are you complaining?" I ask him joking

"Never" He says, kissing the top of my head, "Ok, clue 1, You will need swim wear because the climate is warm there will be a spa", I smile at him, I wore him down

"Is that one clue or three?" I ask, still confused about where we could be going

"That was one clue but I threw in some detail to tease you" He laughs, "Now clue two, we will be flying there".

"Ive never flown anywhere before" I tell him, getting more excited

"You're too cute baby" He laughs, "What do you want to do tonight anyway?" He asks me and I just stare at him, suggestively, he just laughs and asks "What else do you want to do tonight Zoey? We could go for dinner or see a movie?"

"Don't you have to work early tomorrow?" I ask

"I have Thursdays off" He informs me, how did I not know this? Maybe it's never come up before because I'm  usually at school every Thursday.

"I'd like to go out for dinner" I tell him, "But nowhere fancy, just somewhere casual coz I only packed casual clothes" I add

"So burgers and fries is what she desires tonight?" He asks, laughing, "You're determined to make me fat" He says, shaking his head

"I'd still love you if you're fat Angus" I promise, he grabs my hand and places it under his shirt so I can feel his washboard abs

"Say goodbye Zoey" He knows me too well

"Fine, salad it is" I laugh with him.

Angus held my hand as we walked from his office to the desk at the front. Annabelle had returned to work today but still looked unwell. We stop to farewell her on our way out and I remember I had knitted her a scarf, I pull it out of my bag and drape it around her neck.

"Oh Zoey, it's beautiful, thank you" She says, giving me a hug

"It's nothing Annabelle, I was thinking about you all last week and thought it would keep you warm at work" I explain, "If that's ok with the boss of course? I know it's not uniform but I didn't like the thought of Annabelle getting more sick overtime the door opens and lets those cold, windy gushes in" I probably should have cleared it with Angus first

"It's fine Zoey, It does look beautiful too. I'm more concerned about when you found the time in your schedule to knit a scarf?" He frets and I squeeze his hand

"It really didn't take that long" I assure him, "Knitting is how I destress and writing that essay stressed me out a lot"

"I'm sorry Zoey, I didn't mean to make you feel bad about it, you destress how ever you need to, I remember it being a stressful period" He pulls me in close to him, I know he means well, he just doesn't want me to fail.

"You remember year 12 Angus?" Annabelle laughs at him

"I remember fucking it up and having my arse handed to me by Landgaarb and then again by Imogen" He says seriously, "I don't want that for Zoey"

"Zoey is nothing like you were Gus" Annabelle tries to rationalise with him and I hug him tightly

"I know she's not, I just worry, you both know that" He resolves

It's interesting seeing Angus and Annabelle talk about the past that I was never part of and for me it's so hard to imagine Angus doing anything that would warrant getting expelled in his final year, the Angus I know is always in control and structured.

On the walk home, when it's just us I feel that it's the best time to ask him more about why he was expelled, I know it's a sensitive subject and i'm hoping he trusts me enough to open up.

"How close where you to completing before Mr Landgaarb kicked you out" I ask in a small voice. He stops walking and turns to looks at me, it's dark but I can still see his facial features in the streetlights, like he's tormented by the memories.

"It was about this time, we had just started term 3, I had spent all my holidays working on 3 assignments I had and Steph was so pissed off because I hadn't spent any time with her over Winter break. Steph was always angry at me about something so that was nothing new. I was in the top 2 of my year too but I wasn't a good kid, I'd get into fights and mouth off" He explains and it breaks my heart to hear that he was so close to finishing and it was taken away.

"Was it because you got into a fight?" I ask him, brushing his hair out of his eyes.

"I need a haircut, I should probably do that before we go away" He says, changing the subject and I decide to let it go.

"I love you Angus, you're perfect to me" I give him a confidence boost

"Starving is what I am baby, I'm tempted to get street food although I've heard bad things about the Pufferfish, that if it's not cooked right you can die" he grabs my hand and walks us to where the food stalls are, "You wanted casual" he reminds me.

We order hamburgers from one of the stalls and wait for our food, I snuggle into Angus to keep warm.

"I'm not going to tell you why I was kicked out, you have this image of who you think I am and I don't want to destroy that image. I love you Zoey but I want you to understand that this is the one thing I will never tell you. I'm not proud of what happened and if I could change it I would." He has that pained look on his face again.

"I understand, I won't ask again, it's in the past" I reassure him

We eat our burgers in front of the fire, the crackling flames create the perfect romantic aura.

"Did you like the burger?" Angus enquires

"It was so juicy, I loved it, have you had street food from there before?" I ask, knowing if he did it wouldn't be often given his aversion to carbs.

"Never, you're just a bad influence Amelia, making me fall off the wagon" He laughs

"I have a way for you to work it off" I suggest

"Where?" He asks

"Where what?" I reply, confused

"Where do you suggest we work it off, keeping in mind you can't pick any location we've done it in before, those are the new rules" He challenges me, "That rules out here in the lounge room, my bedroom and the laundry, oh and Immie's room coz thats just a world of creepy"

"We didn't really have...sex, in the laundry though" I remind him.

"You came on the washing machine Zoey, I'm counting it" He gives me that cheeky smile. Think Zoey, you can be creative

"The kitchen?" I decide, based on nothing more than that it's close to the lounge room where we are sitting and anywhere downstairs will be too cold.

"I want you to go into the kitchen, take your clothes off and bend over the island bench and wait for me" He orders me and I obey

I don't hear him walk up behind me but I feel him run his hand up my inner thigh and slip his fingers inside me

"Thats my good girl, always so wet" He praises me, moving his fingers to my clit and my breathing starts to quicken, "Are you ready baby"

"Where are you putting it" I ask, suddenly aware we never discussed trying anal and I'm not ready to be that experimental

"Same place I always go" He assures me and i feel him slide in, he settles in and starts penetrating, I instinctively push back so he can go in deeper, he spanks me hard enough to send the electric volts through my body and I can't help but let out a loud "fuck" which just spurs him on, his hand leaves my ass and slowly makes it way to my left breast, he cups it and squeezes my nipple, it's enough to send me over the edge, I collapse on the bench and feel Angus have his own climax seconds after mine.

"Sorry baby, that was over before it started but the bench was great choice" I feel him-up out of me and I still can't move, that was absolutely satisfying  and I'm spent. I slowly peel myself off the bench. I have no idea where Angus has disappeared to until I hear the bath water running, I make my way downstairs, naked and cold and find him in the bathroom, he wraps a fluffy dressing gown around me and I wait for the bath to fill up so I can put the spa on.

"Fuck that was good Zoey" He says, kissing me deeply on the lips.

"I think that was my favourite so far" I inform him and he laughs

"Theres plenty more to come, maybe even tonight" He tells me, "Just for future reference though, I would always tell you before I go up your arse, no surprise attacks I promise."

He climbs in to the bath and holds out his hand for me to follow him in, we find a corner and stretch-out, me between his legs.

"Have you done that before? Anal?" I ask curiously

"Yes and I wouldn't force it on you. I wouldn't do anything to hurt you Zoey" He nuzzles into my neck

"I don't think it's for me" I tell him

"I'm perfectly ok with that Princess, I'm satisfied with what we are doing now" He reassures me, "Can I make one suggestion though?" He asks and my heart start racing, I'm not doing this right, I should be putting in more effort

"What is it?" I ask, expecting the worst

"I want you to go on the pill, we can use it as a back up method if you want to but I would feel a little bit of relief knowing we're not going to have any accidents." He suggests

"I think thats a good idea, Tess is on the pill, she goes to our doctor in Brindleton Bay but I can't ask her to come with me, she will ask too many questions" I tell him

"Zoey I will go with you" He offers, "Otherwise if you go alone you will antibiotics for the flu all because you can't say the word sex" He jokes and I splash him, he knows me all too well.

"Can we go tomorrow?" I ask

"We can go tonight if you want? There's a late night clinic just up the road, it's designed for people who need to see a doctor but not for anything serious outside of business hours and the doctors there are good too." He explains

"Is that where you go?"I ask him

"Yeah, when I need to, I do get sick sometimes." He tells me, "Do you want to go tonight or wait until tomorrow" He asks me

"Go tonight" I reply, "The doctor isn't going to poke me with anything right?" Ive seen way too many episodes of Grey's Anatomy at this point where people go in for simple health issues and the Doctors end up putting a tube down their throat or sticking a giant needle in them. Angus starts laughing at my completely rational fear.

"They're not going to poke you with anything" he says trying to keep a straight face, "I am, but they won't" He gives me that cheeky smile

The clinic is a small space placed between two giant retail stores. Theres 1 other person waiting when we arrive, we check in at the desk and the receptionist hands me a form to fill out, questions about previous medical history. Our wait is short and a female doctor calls my name and ushers me into a smaller office than the one Angus occupies at the gym but unlike his, this room is way more decorated.

"Hi Zoey, my name is Doctor Evans" She introduces herself, "what can I help you with tonight?"

My nerves kick in, I know what I'm here for but I can't say it, she's going to judge me and give me a lecture about how I should never of lost my virginity, Angus can see I'm struggling and takes me hand

"It's alright Zoey, you're in a safe place here, Dr Evans isn't going to make you feel bad" He comforts me, "Zoey is a highly anxious person, she finds it hard to talk about certain subjects, that's why I came in with her tonight" Angus explains to the doctor and I can see Dr Evans starting to understand what's going on

"Is this your boyfriend Zoey?" she asks me and I nod yes, "And are you sexually active?" she continues

"Yes" I say shyly, preparing myself for the lecture

"Zoey there's nothing to feel ashamed of, a lot girls become sexually active around your age and it's natural. My only concern is that your protected and safe."She reassures me, "Have you been tested?" She enquires and I look at Angus, he promised no needles tonight

"Zoey was a virgin before we started having sex, we use condoms every time too" Angus answers for me, Dr Evans turns her attention from me to Angus

"And when were you last tested for STIs?" she questions him

"After my last sexual encounter, I'm clean" He replies and I sit there thinking that these should have been questions I asked him before jumping into anything, I didn't even consider it. Dr Evans turns her attention back to me.

"Zoey would you like me to prescribe the pill for you?" She asks me in her concerned doctor voice.

"Yes please" I reply, my own voice is soft and shy

"I can do that tonight, I'm going to also prescribe a low dose of anti anxiety medication too" She tells me, "The pill must be taken at or around the same time every day for it to be effective and it can take up to 7 days for it to become effective so please keep using your back up form of contraception. Also I must warn you that antibiotics can make the pill ineffective so be aware of that if you are prescribed antibiotics at any stage" She says as she types and prints out two prescriptions, "Also Zoey, don't ever feel ashamed to talk to a medical professional about being sexually active, we are here to help you, never judge you" She smiles warmly at me

"Thank you Dr Evans" I say. We leave the clinic and find a late night chemist near by, I put my prescriptions in with the pharmacist and we sit and wait, Angus takes my hand and gives it a little squeeze.

"Proud of you Princess" He says

"I really didn't do anything, you did all of the talking, my nerves just took over" I'm ashamed that I couldn't speak up

"Zoey it's all good, I know you have anxiety and thats why I went with you tonight and maybe the medication for anxiety will help keep the nerves away." He comforts me

"I should have ask you that question before we did anything" my mind is going into overthinking mode

"I would of told you if you had anything to worry about, I knew I was clean and yeah, maybe we should of had that conversation, that falls on me more than you not asking, I didn't think about it honestly because I knew you were clean" He reassures me, "You're safe with me Zo, always", I feel it too.

We walk back to the apartment, past the food stalls that are packing up for the night.

"Do you want a cupcake Princess?" He asks me

"You ask me like you don't already know the answer will always be yes" I laugh

He orders 2 red velvet cupcakes and we eat them in front of the fire.

"I feel bad for Joanna" I randomly blurt out

"Why, she earns $165 a day here, I think she's not doing too bad" He laughs

"Yeah but what do you think she thinks now that she has to empty your trash bin after we've, you know?" It's only just dawned on me now that, apart from Dr Evans, Joanna would be the only other person to know Angus and I are sleeping together and I've never even met her.

"Zoey I don't give a shit what she thinks, I'm an adult" He tells me, "You worry too much about what other people think" He states the obvious. I see his point though, it's no ones business what we are doing and it's not shameful either

"I'm going to tell Tess next time I see her" I announce

"Only if you're sure? I can be there with you if you want me to be?" He's asks knowing I may need support

"Thank you, I appreciate it but I think it's best I do this alone, Tess has been my whole world for so long and now she shares it with you, I love you both but I don't want to make her feel like it's now you and me and she's been pushed out. I need sister time." I explain and then a panic sets in, I don't want Angus to feel I''m pushing him out either, "Is that OK?" I ask

"Of course thats OK Zo, you never have to feel like you're choosing Tess over me, she's your sister and your best friend" He says, kissing my head

[purplesurveys]

424

A health survey. Must be fun.

What health problems do you have right now? Well my back is a bitch 24/7; my joints hurt when it gets cold; I have scoliosis; and mentally speaking I’m not very stable either. I sound 60. Are you in chronic pain? Never been diagnosed with such, no. What do you take medications for? I don’t. I probably need to, but the state of mental health care in the Philippines is just so inaccessible: it’s expensive, available services are few and far between, and anyone younger than 21 needs to get written consent from their parents, which can be difficult if someone’s parents don���t actually believe in mental health issues. There is a lot of work to be done. What are some health issues you have had in the past? My lactose intolerance was a problem when I was an infant. My family didn’t know I had it, so they kept panicking when I would just poop out all the milk they fed me all day and when my stomach would end up storing nothing. It got critical and I had to be sent to the hospital, but it turned out well after. Do you have allergies? Nope. Free to eat and be in contact with anything.

If so, what are you allergic to? Have you ever been to an allergist? No, never had to. Have you ever been to the ER? Mmm nope, never been in an emergency situation. Have you ever been treated poorly in the ER? Have you ever been told your symptoms were anxiety, when they weren't? I haven’t been tested for that. When I was doing my health exam for university though, they did review my mental health and suspected me of having depression, but they didn’t declare symptoms or formally diagnose me or anything. What is the most physically painful thing you've ever experienced? Probably scraping and kicking my feet against coral reefs when I went snorkeling back in ‘09. I had no flippers and I was panicking (I wasn’t used to using the snorkeling mask to breathe) so I was thrashing my legs around in the water. I knew I was hitting the coral reefs and they were fucking sharp, but I was panicking so I powered through even though it meant I had to hit them every time I kicked. It was painful while I was swimming and even more painful in the weeks that followed. It was the worst infected wound I’ve ever had. Just imagine kicking a razor-sharp boulder with your bare feet. How many surgeries have you had? Zero. I hope I never need any, the thought of surgery terrifies me. What types of surgery have you had? Have you always recovered well from surgery? Have you ever been treated poorly by a doctor? YES!!! The ones in my university’s health service are horrible. Case in point, my health exam for admission to UP: I know it’s part of a doctor’s job, but the doctor assigned to me back then touched my breasts very hastily to check for suspicious bumps. It would have helped tons if 1) she gave me a heads-up beforehand and 2) asked permission, but this lady just told me to lie down and went ahead to stick her hand under my shirt. As someone who had only been fresh out of Catholic school at that point, it was the perfect opportunity to panic. Same doctor was the one who suspected I was depressed after reviewing my mental health form, but instead of being helpful she DEMANDED reasons why I felt that way. I was already uncomfortable with the boob incident by then and was too stunned to speak, so I just kept saying I was fine and that I was mentally stable. In reality I just wanted to get out from that nasty old bitch. Have you ever had a doctor tried to kill you? Oh well that’s just taking it a million times further. No. Is your primary care doctor a man or a woman? I don’t have one. Have you had the same primary care doctor your whole life? We don’t have a family doctor. Are you happy with your current doctor? Have you ever seen a specialist for anything? X-ray technicians. I had trips to see them the most when we found out I had scoliosis.   What is the most itchiest thing you have ever experienced? I had weird rashes on my legs one time in high school, and since I was stubborn I kept scratching them until they turned into nasty black and blue wounds/bruises and cuts. I still have no idea where they came from. Have you ever had a severe itch, that you'd rate a 10? ^ That. On a scale of 1-10, what's the worst physical pain you've ever been in? The coral reef incident is an easy 20. Have you ever passed out from pain? Noooooo. Passing out from pain is one of my greatest fears. I avoid encountering anything painful as much as I can just because I’m scared of the thought of passing out because of pain. Have you ever thrown up from pain? Nope. Just from drinking and expired barbecue lmfao. Do you have any food intolerances? If so, to what? It’s not official, but I hate fruits. Like, I can immediately tell if something has fruit in it and I will spit it out accordingly. That and raisins. Do you have any food sensitivities? If so, to what? Nope. What medications are you allergic to? Do you have acne? A small pimple shows up every now and then (mostly when I’m stressed or if my face gets oily) but it’s never been a full-on breakout. I’ve been lucky when it comes to acne. Do you take birth control pills? I don’t. I want to take them just because I heard it makes your breasts get bigger hahahahahaha but Gab is adamant about not letting me take them. Are your hormones screwed up? Mm no, they’re not that bad. Obviously they act up when I’m nearing or on my period e.g. cravings, crying all the time, being sensitive about everything, but not to the point that my period is irregular or gives me severe dysmenorrhea. Do you have bad withdrawals from medications? I don’t take meds to begin with. What are some withdrawal symptoms you've had? What are some bad side effects of medications that you've had? Have you ever gained weight from a medication? If so, how much? Have you ever had to take Prednisone? Never even heard of it. If so, did it make you gain weight and make your face puff up? Looks like I’m skipping lots of questions. How many hours a sleep do you need? Don’t adults need 8 hours, in general? How many hours a sleep do you get? I try to make it to 8, but I’ve been really busy for this semester that it ends up being 5-7 hours instead. Do you exercise enough? I don’t at all, haaaaaaaaaaah. Do you eat healthy? I do like vegetables and will happily eat salads and sandwiches with veggies packed in them, but I tend to balance it out with grossly unhealthy food anyway, so you decide if this still counts as healthy. Are you on a special diet for your health? No, I don’t think I need to be. Are you trying to lose weight or gain weight? Gain, which I’m on the way to doing. I’m a little chubbier now compared to high school. Are you a healthy weight? I’m 90 lbs. the last time I checked. Relative to my height, that’s underweight. Are you happy with your weight? Sure, but gaining a few pounds wouldn’t hurt either. How often do you wash your hair? Everyday if I’m in school; every other day if I’m on summer break. Do you take showers or baths? Showers. How often do you shower or bathe? ^ Same thing. Do you take vitamins? If so, which ones? I used to take two vitamin syrups everyday when I was younger: one for vitamin C and the other to help me grow taller. When I got a little older my mom changed our usual syrups to these cute vitamin C gummy bears, then after a while I just stopped taking. What bones have you broken? Haven’t broken any, fortunately.  What's the worst physical injury you've had? Aside from my icky foot infection, I had a bad fall in school a few months ago and my ankle got sprained pretty bad. I don’t think I gave it A+ treatment so it never really fully healed. I know this because the same foot still hurts whenever it’s in an odd position or when I shift too much of my weight on it. Do you have sensitive skin? Yes. It eventually gets itchy when my skin is out in the open. In high school, I often had a hard time walking from point A to B because my skin would always get irritated, but I couldn’t scratch it because I was wearing a skirt. What chemicals make you sick? Toxic ones, I would assume? Haha. What time of year do you usually get sick? I never get sick. What's the highest fever you've ever had? 40ºC. It was a dengue scare. Have you ever had the flu? Sure, a few times here and there. Have you ever had bronchitis? Nope. Have you ever had an ear infection? I don’t remember having one. Do you snore? Only when I’m so tired that I’m 130% passed out. What pain reliever do you use for cramps? My menstrual cramps never get that bad. If you're female, what symptoms do you get when on your period? My pelvis area and legs hurt; I cry over everything; I’m sensitive when people are angry; I will essentially take everything personally; my cravings either change every 5 minutes or I just want one food and I will murder to get such craving; I get very poopy; and sometimes I’ll get very drowsy. Do you have regular periods? Pretty much, yes. Sometimes they’ll be a few days early or late but very rarely does it go completely irregular. Are you afraid of shots? Deathly afraid. Like I would do everything to avoid having to take them.  Have you ever donated blood? No. Even if I wanted to, I’m not allowed to (underweight). Plus you have to be pricked for that, which is a Huge No-No for me. Do you do well with shots? If I absolutely have to have a shot, I can manage albeit with a lot of fidgeting. What I’m terrible with is IV. I had a huge meltdown the one and only time I needed to have a needle injected onto my wrist. I was a 12 year old grown ass person thrashing around in the hospital room lol. What x-rays have you had? Just my spine. Have you ever gotten a pill or a piece of food stuck in your throat? Pill-stuck-in-throat sensation happens sometimes, but it’s never been anything serious. What method of birth control do you use, if applicable? Do you take birth control to control hormones, or to prevent pregnancy? As mentioned, I don’t take it. How often does your hair need to be washed? I don’t know about need, but I wash it everyday or every other day so that it doesn’t get oily, which feels irritating. What do you keep on hand for emergencies? I don’t really keep stuff for emergency, just money hahaha. Have you ever had a severe allergic reaction? Nopes. If so, what were your symptoms? Have you ever used an epi pen? I have not. Have you ever been to the ER for a severe allergic reaction? Negative. What's the worst burn you've ever had? When I was 7, I wanted to do something daring so I touched a clothes iron that was plugged in and was in use (by my grandma, but she left to attend to something at the time). My index finger rightfully had a tiny blister for the next two weeks. My dumbass definitely deserved it. What's the worst allergic reaction you've ever had? No allergies. Have you had any health-related embarrassing moments? I don’t think anything bad enough has happened yet. If so, what happened? (if you want to share) Do you use tampons or pads? Pads. I’m scared of tampons. Do you sweat a lot? I don’t, actually. I drink a lot of water, but I guess I just don’t sweat much. Do you get nosebleeds? I’ve never experienced a nosebleed and am also too scared to get one. Do you get motion sickness? Pretty easily, especially if I’m riding an unfamiliar car. Do you have acne? I get a pimple every now and then but it’s not a big issue. Do you have scars? Sure. There’s one on my fourth right toe and the other one on my left eyebrow. What are some of your scars from? Toe scar is from when my toes got stuck in my bike’s blades (something like that, anyway); eyebrow scar is from a stupid cousin smashing a small glass bottle towards my face. Do you have a birthmark? If so, what color is it? I have a brown one behind my left shoulder. I also have one near my elbow; it used to be blue/green but now it’s a faint black-ish shade. What makes your eyes itch? Uh, dirt? I also know if I’ve been spending too much time in front of the computer when my eyes start feeling irritated. That’s usually my signal to go to bed or to have a break. Are you ticklish? Very. I can’t be tickled on any part of my body. Do you have a sweet tooth? I have my moods, but overly sweet food isn’t really a favorite of mine. Do you ever crave chocolate? Never, actually. I can crave sweet stuff like brownies and cookies, but never chocolate bars. Do you ever crave cheese? No. Lactose intolerance makes me wary of cheese so I never really ~crave it. What else, if anything, do you get cravings for? I usually crave for cuisines in general or specific restaurants.  Do you drink enough water? Yeah I’m pretty sure I do. Do you comfort eat when stressed? It varies. Sometimes I’ll rely on eating, but other times I’ll lose my appetite and wouldn’t want to be anywhere near food. How old were you when you started your period? I was 9 but was about to turn 10. How old were you when you started going through puberty? I am guessing the same age when I had my period, but everything sped up only when I was 10/11. What was the first sign of puberty for you? ...My period? Did your hair change when you went through puberty? Hair started to grow in places, but as for changes, not really. At what time of day do you normally feel your best? I don’t really keep track lol. Are you naturally optimistic or pessimistic? Um both, depending on my mood for the day. It never stays constant. Are you naturally energetic? I’m naturally un-energetic. Looking at extroverts exhausts me. Does your mind wander a lot? Only when I’m bored at something, like in a certain class. I can generally focus well. Do you know your blood type? I don’t actually hah. Have you ever been taken to the hospital against your will? Nope. Any final thoughts? Cool survey. It’s different.

[alia-turin]

This chapter is a bit darker, after all things happen after Noct had already disappeared and we all know how the world looks after that. The game doesn’t really touch (even Comrades) on a lot of the things I imagine happen in Lestallum, like provision shortages etc so I kind of tried to add that here. Hope y’all enjoy, Sorry for the angst. 

Fic Title: Back to Life Chapter number: Act IV Previous Chapters: Act I, Act II, Act III Rating/Warnings: M (sex, swearing, drinking, Tredd) Pairing: Tredd x Reader Summary: Reader has nice a career and wants to grow it, relationships are not her thing so meeting Tredd at a bar turns out to be exactly what she needs after a long day at work. Notes: Story  moves to Lestallum, Noct is already gone so the world is sinking into darkness. I always wanted more canon info on how Lestallum was operating, for the normal people, refugees etc. not just the game characters since I cannot imagine it was a fun place considering everything.

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Tagging: @birdsandivory @lazarustrashpit @jojopitcher @yourcoolfriendwithallthecandy @kairakara101 @ladychocoberry @demidemon09  @mysticrainpain @mp938368

It has been one of these long days that you wanted to end as soon as it started. Not that it really mattered, every single day in Lestallum for the past year or so has been the exact same thing. Ever since the darkness happened and people started barricading the city. Going out wasn’t safe and nobody did it unless they had to. Staying in was an absolutely nightmare. It was safe, but wherever you went it was the same faces and you can see the hope vanishing from their eyes with every single day. People had even stopped asking where the young king was.

You were sitting in one of the tents rolling bandages, it was the only thing you had the strength to do. That was your new profession, not rolling bandages but you had learned thing or two about nursing. As it turns out nobody needed an interior designer when the world was ending. Another reminder for you how unprepared you were for a life like that. You often wondered what the point of all that was, you haven’t seen the sun more than two months and it seemed like it would never come around again. At first Lestallum had been a shelter, a place where you hoped that eventually you might rebuild life, but what happens when all life was dying? Lestallum was safe, but you helped in the clinic, you knew what the hunters, crownsguard and leftovers of the glaive were saying. The world was falling into ruins.

At first when you moved to Lestallum you thought you would miss the luxuries in life. Having nice hot bath, gym, hairstylist and clothes that costed more than they should. It wasn’t that, these things are easy to live without after couple of months. The routine was killing you. Nothing was happening. Same people, tired of what life had served them. Sure, every day in the clinic was different. Today someone had broken an arm, the next day someone would come with the flu. But that wasn’t life. Loneliness. That was probably the worst part of it. You never managed to make friends in Lestallum, and everybody you knew from before that was dead. Including him, that bastard.

On days like that you often caught yourself thinking about him. Maybe he got the better deal at the end anyway. He wasn’t sitting here rolling bandages until it was dinner time because there was nothing better to do. Probably lambs at a slaughter house felt better than you since lambs didn’t know what was happening to them, you were aware that if nothing changed, sooner or later you all would be going to the slaughter house.

Your thoughts went to him again. He would call you a spoiled brat and tell you to get a hold of yourself. He has always been right you were a spoiled brat. The only reason you managed to get to Lestallum in the first place is because he told you to do so and you were just stuck here when the darkness came. In a sense he had saved your life and you hated him. Not for saving you but for even having the need to be saved. He was one of the many reasons you were where you were and if he hadn’t died you were going to kill him.

The bandage you were rolling had long been rolled and you left it in the box with the rest. You didn’t want to think about that anymore. You haven’t thought about him in days and now all your thoughts and feelings were rolling in your head like avalanche. Did you still love him? Maybe the thought of him, but you also hated what he did.

You were distracted by shouting coming from outside and decided to check. Maybe there was finally something happening in the monotone day of Lestallum.

You walked just in time to say that Libertus was one of the people shouting, there was a man in front of him that was obviously on the receiving end. Couple more glaives were around them. As you started coming closer, you saw Libertus punching the other man in the gut. The man made a step backwards, his body bending from the hit.

“You were always a stupid dick, Libertus.” The man said and you froze. You were probably going insane, that voice…no it couldn’t be. He was dead. Libertus had seen it, he told you he was dead.

Then the man straightened himself and jumped on Libertus, the other glaives grabbed him and you could finally see him…It was Tredd. Stubble was covering his face and he seemed like he had lost some weight but it was him. He tried to fight the glaives that were holding him, he tried to fight his way to Libertus but it didn’t work.

“Why don’t you tell them to let go of me, huh?” Tredd spat on the ground in front of Lib’s feet. “You are afraid I will rip your fuckin head off. Not so brave when Nyx is not around to save your ass, are you?”

“I don’t have time to deal with you.” Libertus eventually said and started walking away. “Stay around, I’m sure the Marshal would love to chat with you.”

“Yeah I’d gladly tell him as well where he can stick it.” Tredd shouted as the glaives let go of him.

You were standing there finding it hard to believe what was happening. Why was that happening? How was it happening? Tredd noticed you eventually and just stared at you as well.

“Fucking finally someone who is happy to see me.” He said and walked towards you but as soon as he reached you, you slapped him as hard as you could, tears running down your eyes. “What is your fucking problem, what is everyone’s fucking problem?”

“You were dead!” you shouted at him and tried to clean the wetness of your face. It wasn’t tears of grief or happiness, it was tears for everything that had happened so far. Him dying, your life being taken away, living one day for the next without knowing when a demon would just breach the city.

“So, I have been told, feel pretty alive.” he chuckled but there was something sad in his smile. “Come on, I need a rundown on what is happening. I feel like I have massive memory loss.”

You just stared at him wanting to slap him again for your broken heart. You mourned him. You cried for him, and now he was here acting as if he has no idea what was happening. He got you all in that!

You just walked toward the place that you were calling home and you heard his steps after you. He was fucking dead, how was he walking and talking. Sure, there were a lot of people who had vanished under Insomnia and appeared later but…weeks later, not almost two years. Not after someone had seen their dead body. Was Libertus lying? Why would he lie?

Your new home was in one of the older buildings of Lestallum, very small apartment, but it wasn’t like you owned anything to put in it. Just some clothes and that was it.

“You have certainly downgraded.” Tredd said as he walked in and you regretted not having a weapon to just kill him on the spot.

“And whose fault is that?” you kicked one of the two chairs as an invitation for him to sit, he didn’t but you did. “Welcome to my new life, you will be happy to hear I don’t have thirty pairs of overly expensive shoes or a whole drawer with make up. Oh also occasionally I don’t have a meal for couple of days because delivery trucks get attacked by demons and the city is not yet fully self sufficient.”

“How is any of that my fault?” Tredd said absolutely innocent even a bit hurt.

“Really, Tredd? You recall trying to kill the king or something of these lines?” you couldn’t believe it. He had always been stubborn ignorant asshole, but that was beyond him.

“First of all, it was the Captain who did the killing I was otherwise occupied. Second I have massive memory loss and I have no idea what happened between that night in Insomnia and literary three days ago when I just woke up on the side of a road.” He came closer to you grabbing your hands in his almost gently. “Third, if my calculations are correct, I have been out of things for months and judging by the feeling of my balls I haven’t fucked anything in that time so…”

“You should have stayed dead.” You said quietly and pulled your hands away from his. As soon as the words left your mouth you regretted them, but it was too late already.

“Stop being such a bitch? What have I done to you? I told you to leave town, you would be fucking dead if it wasn’t for me.” He got up obviously angry. “Why did I even think you’d be happy to see me? You are most likely riding every fucking cock in that city from the moment you arrived.”

“I mourned you!” you got up kicking the chair behind. “I waited for you, then I started hearing stories about what the Kingsglaive did. About what you did. Then one day I met Libertus and he told me that he saw you dead. Until that moment I was hoping you are alive and just hiding somewhere, but then I realized you were just dead. I mourned you, Tredd, I cried, my heart was broken. I hated you for what you did then I forgave you, then the sun was gone and I hated you again. I tried to forget you. To move on…” your voice broke. Tears were running down your face again and he was just standing there like a statue. “Get out of here!” you shouted at him not wanting to show weakness.

“You know what?” his voice was calm but you could feel the anger. “Fuck you. Go back to riding Libertus’ dick or whoever else you are fucking, I’m done with your ass.”

“I’m not fucking anybody, you ignorant piece of shit!” you shouted after him as he shut the door behind himself.

 Time moved even slower and more painful in Lestallum. Somehow Tredd was always in front of your eyes and people were making sure to point that out to you. You wanted to avoid him, but was impossible. You knew about everything he was doing without actually wanting to find that out. Apparently Libertus brought him to the Marshal. There were several conflicting stories how that went down, and people made sure to tell you every single one of them despite you protesting it. Regardless of what happened in that room, at all ended with Tredd joining the Kingsglaive again. Good for him you thought and returned to your monotone duties in the clinic.

Then it was all the talk about the girls he was flirting on or sleeping with. People would tell you who was the girl they saw him with and then give you the ‘I’m so sorry look’. You weren’t sure if you hated him more or the people who somehow thought that was information you wanted to hear. Turns out you never managed to move on from him, it was just easier not to think about his sorry ass when he was presumed dead. But now he was here, doing what Tredd did and you wished more often than not for a demon to breach these walls and eat him alive. At least like that you can return to silent mourning.

One day as you were walking in the examination room in the clinic, if that tent could be called a room at all, you saw him sitting there, there was a long deep cut on his arm.

“I will call someone else.” You said as your eyes met.

“Why? Scared you will start crying?” he teased you and look for the closest pair of scissors that you can shove in his eye.

“How did that happen.” You were trying to keep your voice completely flat as you reached for bandages and something to clean the wound. It would need stitches as well which was great news since you were low painkillers.

“You know, saving the world.” He chuckled and you raised an eyebrow. It was his fucking fault the world needed saving to begin with. He flinched as you started cleaning the wound but didn’t say anything. Part of you expected that he would call you a bitch and accuse you of causing him pain on purpose, but he didn’t. Tredd just accepted it.

“Heard the Marshal pardoned you.” You said as you started stitching the wound. He was still holding well even if it was obvious he was feeling pain.

“No, he wanted to kill me. Libertus defended me and vouched for me, no idea why.” That was something you didn’t know. “He said I’m useful in a fight and should atone for what I have done. As if I care, ouch!” he shouted as you stuck the needle harder than before. “At first I thought he was really fucking you that’s why he is trying to save my ass.”

“How did you even reach to that conclusion? The only reason I ever talked to Libertus because I saw him in his uniform and wanted to ask what had happened to you. That’s how I met him, the only times he talks to me is when he needs something from the clinic.” You sighed and started bandaging his arm. You had no straight to fight him.

“I was pissed okay?” he raised his voice and you just gave him a tired look. “You said he told you I was dead, and I am obviously not dead. You were angry at me for no reason. I thought…”

“You thought what Tredd? That he seduced me while I was crying over you? Between trying to figure out my life and sobbing over your ass I haven’t had time to figure out who would be invited between my legs.” you checked the bandage and got off the chair you were sitting on. “You are done, you can go. It needs to be changed tomorrow, so make sure you stop by.” You turned around and you were about to leave as he grabbed you by the wrist and squeezed hard. “You are hurting me.” You turned around and looked at him, he wasn’t saying anything, just looking at you and holding your wrist firmly. “Tredd, let go of me.” You repeated trying to free your hand, but you couldn’t.

Eventually he did and started walking toward the exit but then stopped, turned around and pushed you against the examination table making you sit on it.

“Tredd, stop what are you doing…” you moaned as he kissed you and moved his hands on your ass pulling you closer to him.

“Fixing things by trying to fuck you.” He mumbled in your kiss as he started undoing his pants.

“Who said I want you to fuck me?” you said as you pulled your lips away from his, your hands were helping him pull his pants down. “That won’t fix…” you moaned.

“Stop me then.” You didn’t stop him. You are angry with him for everything he had done and messing up your life but you still wanted him and loved him. Funny how two years of living on the essentials makes you brave enough to admit your own feelings at least in front of yourself.

You help him pull his pants down, then you both managed to take yours off and without waiting any further he started fucking you there in the examination room. You moaned louder with each thrust, it has been such a long time and you missed him, feeling him close to you and inside you. You wrapped your arms around his shoulder pulling him closer and you had to dig your teeth in his t-shirt since you were getting too loud.

“Fuck, forgot how nice you feel.” He groaned as he picked up his pace pushing you into an orgasm. It has been too long, that made it too easy for to push you over the end. Took him a bit longer to follow you but once he came he didn’t move, you were both just standing there, his arms around your waist, yours around his shoulders.

As soon as some logical thought appeared in your head you knew that was a mistake. Your problems weren’t going to be fixed with sex, although you had to admit you did feel a bit better now. You had to say something, you had to talk to him because he wasn’t going to do it. You doubted that dead made him more aware of his own emotions.

Eventually he pulled out slowly and started buttoning his pants. You did the same in complete silence, words just didn’t come to your mind. You wanted him back, but you weren’t going to beg for it.

“I will see you around when I come for the bandage tomorrow.” He walked toward the entrance and stopped again. You saw his whole body move as he took a deep breath, held it and then his shoulders sank as if he wanted to say something else, but never did.

You stood there alone realizing that you just made a bigger mess than you had before. You should have either tried to patch things up or end them once and for all but not fuck him just for the sake of fucking him.

“Fuck!” you slammed the table in frustration, your hand hurt but you didn’t care. Apparently, you haven’t grown as much as you thought as a person. What was the purpose of admitting in front of yourself that you loved him, if you couldn’t tell him that. Of course there was the small detail that you were talking about Tredd after all, and saying stuff like I love you was going to force him to make ten offensive jokes and probably pretend to be dead again.

[wonderlandinrope]

Time Part 4

Sam x Reader

Summary: Sam and Dean have a lot of explainng to do after Cas shows up with some very strange important information

The classroom was chaotic with children running about. It was less summer school and more of a reading camp to help those that had fallen behind the past year. They were playing a word game where teams had to work together to find the letters that would answer a question. Because of her higher reading ability, Grace had tagged along. Anna gave her the job to help some of the students that need a extra encouragement. Anna read out clues as the children raced from one end of the class to the other.

“Mommy I have to go to the bathroom.” Grace pulled on Anna’s sweater.

“Go ahead.” Anna glanced at her daughter then did a double take. She looked pale, with dark circles under her eyes. “Are you ok?”

“My head hurt.” Grace’s voice was whiny and shallow. She reached up touching her head.

“I hope you're not coming down with something.” Touching her hand to Grace's forehead she felt like she was burning up. “Oh no. Ok let me call someone.”

Calling the class to order the students sat down in their seats, quietly they read while Grace sank to the floor resting her head on her knees. Another teacher appeared in the doorway taking a long look at her. Anna explained what was going on watching her daughter, closely. Her motherly instincts kicking in. The gut feeling you get when you know something is wrong more so than just a normal bug. Picking up her daughter she thanked the other teacher for taking over apologizing for the sudden departure.

Grace rested her head against her mother's shoulders. The heat coming off her was overwhelming, then there was a sudden heaviness to her that didn’t feel right. Looking at her out of the corner of her eye, Graces eyes rolled back in her head she was passed out. Trying to stay calm to keep the other children from panicking she asked the other teacher call an ambulance.

Waiting out in the hallway Anna held Grace stroking her face. “Baby your ok your ok help will be here soon.”

On the ride to the hospital, Anna called the only person that might have been able to keep her calm. “Sam! Please, you gotta come!” Anna had tears running down her eyes, she was choking on a sob making following the Ambulance difficult.

“What’s wrong? Anna, what is it? Is Grace ok?” Sam was already on edge they had no leads as to what they were even supposed to be looking for and worst of all the body count was beginning to rise.

“It’s Grace. I don’t know, I’m on the way to the hospital now. Please, I’m scared I don’t know what to do.” Fear was growing in her.

“I’ll be there in as soon as I can.” Sam hung up the phone.

Making it to the hospital took nearly half the night. Sam jumped out of the car as Dean went to park it. Getting the room number, his pulse quickened heart beating against his chest. Never in his life had he felt more terrified so much in his life had gone wrong, he couldn’t let the only shining light fade. Once he knew what was wrong he would do whatever was in his power to keep his daughter safe.

Stopping outside of the room, he looked in the window only able to see Anna. She sat next to the bed holding Graces hand singing softly. Her face was red and puffy from crying she looked so scared. With a deep breath holding his head high he opened the door slowly. His eyes falling to the body laying on the bed. Grace looked so fragile, she was hooked up to an IV a heart monitor. It made his heart sink.

“Sam!” Anna jumped to her feet running embracing him. She felt like her whole world was falling apart. “The doctors don’t know what’s wrong they. She had a fever, her head hurt, then she was out. She won't wake up.”

His jaw set on edge, supporting Anna his arms tensed. “It’s going to be ok.”

“I’m so scared Sam!” Anna retreated back to Graces side.

“I promise she will be ok.” There was nothing in his voice that told her that it was just a guess. It was a stone unwavering fact.

They sat in silence watching as Grace's chest moved up and down. It was the only indication that she was alive. Reaching out brushing her hair from her face Sam’s fingertips pressed her skin. It was no longer hot, but ice cold. Anna couldn’t take her eyes off of her daughter afraid that if she turned away even for a second that the child would slip from her fingers never to wake up.

The door swung open, Sam turned but Ann didn’t budge. Dean nodded to his brother but said nothing. Taking the seat against the wall they waited until Anna had fallen asleep from exhaustion before they took time to talk.

“What’s going on Sammy?” Dean’s eyes flickering from Grace to Sam.

“I don’t know the doctors haven’t come by yet. Do you think you could call Cas?” Sam was desperate, it was torture seeing Grace like this.

“I can try. But before we left he was onto something. Said he thought he’d found the answer then pulled a David Copperfield.” Dean could see the desperation in his brother’s eyes. “Hey maybe it’s nothing, she might only have a really bad case of the flu. It’s been going around bad this year.”

“Dean, this isn’t the flu.” Sam looked lost more so than ever before.

Hearing the desperation in his brother's voice he agreed. “Alright, I’ll give it a try.”

Dean was about to walk out of the room when a doctor walked finally walked in. Holding a chart he looked to Sam extending his hand. “I’m doctor Young. You must be Mr. Warren?”

“Sam. Can you tell me what’s going on here?” He spoke in a hushed voice trying to keep Anna from waking up.

“I think it would be best if we waited for Mrs. Warren to talk.” The doctor gestured to Anna who was still sleeping curled up next to Grace.

Sam walked over to Anna gently touching her shoulder. She woke up startled but gathered herself quickly when she took notice of the Doctor standing in the door. She moved carefully avoiding the wires, and iv joining them at the door but not taking daring to move more any further from Grace should she wake up.

“I’m going to step out for a minute, I’ve got to make a call.” Dean nodded to his brother.

The doctor opened a folder he was holding, grazing over it quickly before looking up. Two lost faces staring back at them. “Good news is that everything is showing fine on all her scans and blood tests. Nothing out of the ordinary.”

“Then why isn’t she waking up?” Anna was ringing her hands. Shaking slightly.

“Well, unfortunately, we don’t know the answer to that.” He stated.

“So What are we just supposed to wait here? Wait for her to wake up.” Sam snapped.

Taking a step back the doctor answer. “I’m sorry, But that’s all we can do for now. We will keep her monitored closely but yes, unfortunately, that’s the case right now. I am truly sorry we couldn’t be of more help. I will be back if anything changes.”

Anna’s face was beyond defeated as the doctor walked away without so much as another word. She went back to Graces side holding her hand. “When she was just two, she got so sick, beyond anything out of my worst nightmare.” Sam took the chair next to Anna wrapping his arm around her shoulders. “Her heart stopped once, but they brought her back. I can’t go through that again Sam. I can’t lose her again.”

Anna broke down sobbing into him. Pulling her into his chest he repeated the same words he had stated earlier, “Nothing is going to happen. I promised you didn’t I?”

Graces unconscious body made Sam’s mind churning with possibilities. If there was nothing medically wrong with her then this had to be in his corner. What had he brought home with him that sought to seek out the youngest most vulnerable person in his family? He thought about the last few weeks, all the hunts he had been on. None of them had been particularly memorable or unusual, or at least more so then they typically encountered.

“Tell me about last week. Before we went camping. Tell me about what you guys did, tell me about how she was before.” Sam knew this would both distract Anna and give him some insight as to what was going on.

Sitting up drawing in a ragged breath Anna gathered herself. Looking back on how much fun the summer had been up to that point. “We were visiting with Em, my sister to go hiking. Grace was so excited she’d been wanting to get out of the house for a few days. She loves seeing Em and couldn’t wait to brag about her dad. Before that, we had been cooped up inside. I had to finish up some last minute paperwork for some of my students that had fallen behind. There were a few really bad storms this week, so we went to the library, a few times. Grace is terrified of thunder, and reading distracts her. She gets lost in her own world when she reads, it’s like nothing else exists.”

Sam nodded organizing the bits of information. All of it was normal, nothing really stuck out. How much longer would they have to wait before she woke up or someone found the answer? Time moved on to a cement block being dragged. The room was silent for a while before Anna took a copy of Alice in Wonderland and began to read it out loud. Recalling it being her favorite it shouldn’t have been a surprise that Anna carried a copy with her. She made it to where Alice met the mad hatter before breaking down again. She let Sam hold her, he smelled like cotton and burnt wood. It reminded her of the night by the campfire how he promised that he would be there for both of them. This was him keeping his promise.

The room was dim, the only sound was coming from the heart monitor hooked up to Grace. A light in the hallway flickered a few times, catching Sam’s attention. It did it again followed by a figure appearing in the doorway. The door handle turned slowly completely unnoticed by Anna. Without a word, Sam got up making it just in time before it swung open expecting to find a ghost or demon. Instead, however, he ran almost head-on into Cas.

“What the hell Cas! You scared the shit out of me.” Sam tucked the gun back into his pants. “Dean got ahold of you then?”

Cas was just as surprised to see Sam. “No, I have not heard from Dean.”

“Then what are you doing here?” Sam looked back into the room checking in on the two girls. Anna didn’t get up but was on alert with Sam’s sudden departure. Her brow furrowed wiping away a few tear. Sam waved giving her a quick grin to put her at ease.

“Hey, you got the call. Glad you could put down a book for a minute. Sam catch you up yet.” Dean appeared behind them joining the two.

“While I am aware of your call that is not the reason I am here,” Cas stated trying to look past Sam but not able to see anything.

The brothers frowned at each other, each being hit with an unsettling gut feeling. It was never a good sign to show up somewhere as coincidence with as Cas.

“Then why are you here?” Dean crossed his arms, Sam taking a more solid stance in front of the door.

Clearing his throat Cas looked around nervously, “Not here.”

“Yes here.” Sam wasn’t about to let the angel blow his cover or drag Anna and Grace into the monster business.

“Come on man what’s going on. Does it have anything to do with what the Angels were looking for?” Dean asked in a hushed voice.

“Not here.” Cas was firm in his word. Gritting his teeth setting his jaw on edge. “I need to get into that room. Sam move.”

“No. Not until you tell me what’s going on.” Sam was just as determined as to keep Cas out as Cas seemed to be to get in. They both looked at each other through narrowed eyes.

“I can’t believe I’m the one saying this but you both need to relax. Your drawing more attention to us than Lynyrd Skynyrd during Sunday service.” Dean stressed as the nurse walked by.

“I don’t have time for this. Move or I will move you.” Cas grew more intense.

Cas was only a few inches from Sam getting in his face sizing him up.  This was very unlike him, especially with the brothers. Narrowing his eyes Sam brought tightened his fists then looked to Dean who only nodded telling his brother to move out of the way. Reluctantly he moved Cas pass. The three entered the room Dean locking it behind him to make sure no one would follow. The tension in the room was palpable. Following the sound of the door shutting Anna turned taking in the sight of the three men gathering in the room.

“Sam? Who is this?” Suspiciously Anna stood becoming a barrier between Cas and Grace. Something about him didn’t feel right. Cas stepped up placing two fingers on Annas' forehead she fell like a stone to the ground. Sam caught her before her head hit.

“What the hell!” Dean snapped.

Ignoring the brothers as they tended to Anna, Cas made his way to Grace. Looking down on the child, he looked at the monitors, then back to the unmoving body. Moving to place his hand on Grace, while the brothers were distracted Grace began to squirm then suddenly she bolted upright. Screaming as she took in the sight of her mother collapsed on the floor, a stranger standing over her. The sound demanding Sam’s attention. Handing Anna off to Dean he ran to Grace,  who began to sob. He shoved Cas aside scooping her up.

“It’s ok.” Sam whispered, trying to calm her petting her hair back. “I got you.”

“We need to leave now.” Cas directed the order at Dean. “Angels and demons are headed this way they will be after the girl.”

“Cas you got about five seconds to explain what's going on.” Dean holding Anna bridal style.

“They found a way to get Lucifer out of the cage.” Cas’s deadpanned

“No.” Sam’s felt the terror rising within him “How?”

“Daddy what’s wrong with mommy?” Grace whimpered.

Cas’s eyes went wide turning, back to Sam. “Daddy? You’re her father. This would explain a lot.”

Before Sam could be given a chance to explain the building began to move glass vibrating through the windows. They had no time to recap the last few weeks or even give a brief explanation, the angels were coming which meant the demons wouldn’t be far behind and that’s if they weren’t already there. The locked door handle moved up and down as someone began to try and open it. Placing Anna on the bed where Grace had been.

“Cas wake her up. We need to move.” Dean barked the order Cas didn’t hesitate as he placed two fingers on Anna’s forehead.

Opening her eyes Anna was met with the unsettling sight of Dean collecting their things into a bag, Sam untangling Grace from the wires and IV while a man in a trench coat that she had just met a second before now stood in front of the door holding what looked to be some kind of blade. The only thing that kept her from complete panic at the moment was that Grace was now awake clinging to Sam for dear life.

“Ok here’s the thing I haven’t been completely honest with you.” Sam took Anna’s hand dragging her to the door. “So real quick there are some really nasty people on the other side of that door. We need to get to the car and get out of here before they make it through. Take Grace, I’m going to need both hands for this.”

Anna took Grace still unsure of what was going on but too afraid to leave Grace in the hands of someone she thought may be crazy. Dean handed her the bag as well, each of them taking their places in front of her, holding a gun, a knife, a blade. This wasn’t going to be good weather she accepted that she was powerless to fight the men in front of her but she could at least shield her child from what they were about to do.  

“Close your eyes baby. Whatever happens don’t look,” She clung tightly to her daughter, afraid Grace would slip away.

[a-dreamer-named-mars]

Imagine Jamie Saving You From Yourself

Rquested by emmaljo on wattpad. For more Jamie Reagan imagines and fanfictions, click here.

Warning: This imagine is more emotional and much more serious that all my other ones and contains references to suicide and depression. If you don't feel like you can't take it, don't read it.

-

"Bye, sweetie. Have fun and don't forget to be good for uncle Danny." You said as you kissed your daughter's forehead.

You watched her wave goodbye with her tiny hand and Jamie placed a kiss on her blonde curls before she and your brother in law left.

She was going to spend the night and the next day with her cousins and her uncle while you and Jamie were going to have the night all to yourselves. Since the next day was Saturday and Emily, your daughter, loved spending time with Jack and Sean, she was going to spend the whole day there and you were going to pick her up at the end of the day, before dinner.

"So, are you ready?" Jamie asked as he approached you.

"Yeah. Let's go." You answered before you picked up your purse and your coat. You waited for your husband to get his and when you were both ready and set to go, you made your way outside to get to the car.

You and Jamie were going out for dinner to celebrate your 10th anniversary. These last ten years have been crazy for you two... It's all fun and games until you have your first real fight. It was actually over something really stupid but you had always been a sensitive person. You've been battling with depression ever since you were a teenager, and Jamie knew that... He knew what you've been dealing with for more than half of your life. He knew that when you started dating, when he proposed to you, and when he vowed to spend the rest of his life with someone who dealt with something this emotionally heavy. And he still said "I Do" without a doubt. But when things get tricky it's like he regrets marrying you.

* * *

"Wow dinner was great wasn't it?"

You had just arrived home and the two of you managed to escape a rainstorm that has been advised to get to New York soon. Guess it was now.

"Yeah, that restaurant's amazing. Janey was right."

"I wasn't talking about the food but yes, I liked it a lot."

"What were you talking about then?" You asked as you took off your heels still in the hallway, before taking off your coat.

"Just... I don't know but it was such a calm dinner tonight, not getting food thrown at my face was good for a change."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

He sighed.

"Nothing. Look, I'm just saying that it was good to have dinner, just the two of us, having a calm and quiet time."

You could feel your eyes starting to get wetter and wetter by the second.

"I knew it... You didn't want Emily! You never did! Look, if we're too much of a burden for you we can just leave!"

"Whoa, what are you talking about?!"

"Just admit it, Jamie! This is too much for you! You never wanted me to get pregnant, now you're relived you had dinner without our daughter!"

"Hey, the only reason I said we shouldn't have a baby was because you were in a bad condition then, worse than you are now, and I didn't want to make you feel worse! Because it did! Pregnancy didn't help you at all!"

"She was the best thing to ever happen to me!!"

By this time you couldn't keep your voice down and neither could he. Tears were rolling down your face, and you were feeling weaker and weaker.

"I am not doubting that, (Y/N)... But you have to admit that you got worse."

"You don't understand." You said as you turned your back on him.

"Oh I don't understand? All I've done my entire life ever since I met you was understand you and help you. I've always done everything I could in my power to make you feel a little better but it's like it's never enough! It's like I can't ever win with you."

"Okay, I can't do this anymore, let's just go to bed. Who's picking Emily up at your brother's tomorrow?"

"I can go when I finish my tour."

"Okay you know what? You don't need to bother, I'll do it."

* * *

You tried your best to breathe. You took deep breaths but it was like no air was passing through and making it through your lungs. You felt like you were about to collapse at any time. And if you were being honest that was the best thing that could happen to you. You were done, you were sick and tired of fighting something that just wasn't fixable. You were nothing and Jamie's life was fully dependent on you and your daughter. And you hated it, you felt powerless and invalid and it was just the worst.

And you wanted to end the pain quickly and permanently.

"(Y/N) ! I'm home!"

What the hell was Jamie doing home at this time? He's still supposed to be on tour.

You were lying on your bathtub naked, with an orange plastic box on your hand, filled with pills. You could hear him walking around the house, probably trying to find you. And sooner, you no had time to cover yourself or hide the medication and Jamie walked in on you.

The moment you looked at him you immediately started crying and sobbing. You could see the hurt in his eyes and it broke you. Even more than you already were.

He grabbed what felt like your lifeless body and picked you up, taking you to the bed you two have been sharing for a decade now.

He immediately grabbed towels and blankets to cover you but all you wanted was for him to hold you close to him, which he did when you were dry and warmer. But not even listening to his heartbeat made you stop crying.

"Shh, ahh... it's okay. You're okay now." He kept saying.

* * *

"Why isn't mommy home? It's night time." Emily asked as she walked inside her house, after Jamie picked her up at his brother's place.

"Come here, bug." He said as he pulled her into his lap when he sat on the couch.

The officer took a deep breath before starting the conversation.

"Mommy got a boo-boo. So... she needed to see the doctor. But she will be back before you know it."

"Mommy's sick?"

"Yeah, baby. But the doctor's gonna help her get better."

"We can help her too, we can make her chicken soup like she does when we got the flu, remember, daddy?"

Jamie smiled as he fought the tears forming in his blue eyes that matched his daughter's.

"Yeah, we can do that. We'll do it tomorrow, you need to brush your teeth and sleep now. Deal?"

"Deal." She said.

You were taken to the hospital by Jamie and after the doctors evaluated you, Danny called. He was worried cause none of you were coming to pick up Emily and that was really unusual for you. Anyways, you were feeling slightly better, probably because of the medication flowing into you through the IV, and told Jamie he should go and pick her up. He agreed but only if he called someone to be there with you. He called your mom and she rushed inside the hospital in no time. The doctors said you out of the woods since you hadn't really done anything to yourself but still needed to be evaluated by a psychiatrist and psychologist. They agreed to send you home with the condition that you'd never be alone and that you'd always habe someone with you at all times and that you started doing medication and going to an appointment with your psychologist every week, two days a week and another with your psychiatrist, two times a month.

And just to think that if it wasn't for Jamie, you wouldn't ever eat your daughter's amazing chicken soup.